The Psychological Cycles of Divorce. A helpful guide for your understanding.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Deciding to get married is easy.  Deciding to divorce is a much more difficult exercise.  In the State of Florida, if one spouse seeks a divorce, generally, the other spouse has no say in the matter.

So if you are on the receiving end of “I want a divorce”, here are the cycles that you may go through:

1.  Denial.  You may not yet realize what is happening, or if you do, you have hopes of getting the marriage back on track

2.  Anger.  Once you realize this is for real, you get angry.  How could your spouse do this?

3.  Guilt.  The next step is to think it is something that you have done to ruin the marriage.  You blame yourself for the breakup.

4.  Depression.  You go through a sadness stage.  You may lose or gain weight; have sleepless nights; anxiety attacks; crying bouts; chronic fatigue.

5.  Forgiveness.  You realize what is going to be and you start to forgive your spouse and yourself.

6.  Acceptance.  You are beginning to plan your future.

7.  Recovery.  You are ready to move forward into the future.

There also may be physcial ramifications of each of these stages.  Your immune system may be effected and you may be susceptible to colds.  You may find yourself hyperventilating with an anxiety attack.  You may feel tired all the time.  Overwhelmed with divorce paper work.  You may be unable to focus and concentrate.

You may find yourself forgetful, scattered, confused.

If you find yourself unable to cope with the divorce process, seek professional assistance in a marriage counselor and retain an attorney you have confidence in.  That will take away most of the worry.

For more information about this or other divorce subjects, call one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROB
on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

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Bad Marriage? What to do about it…

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If you are living the nightmare of a bad marriage, day in, day out, you might feel at a loss as to what to do to improve your life’s situation.   This can have a freezing effect so you become numb.  It can also have the effect of causing you to feel lifeless, hopeless and depressed. 

You have two choices:  you either get help to work on fixing the broken marriage, or you bail out.   But before you can make the decision to remove yourself from the marriage, seek legal advice.  An informed decision is a wise decision.  With additional knowledge as to your rights, obligations, and options, you will feel better about your course of action. 

For answers to your questions, call the law office of Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com.

Mental Health Issues in Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are many issues in divorce that can be affected by one or the other spouse’ mental health.  The following is a list where mental health issues can determine and outcome of the case here in Palm Beach County, Florida:

1.  Custody battles.  The job of the court is to determine the best interests of the child/ren.  If a spouse is bi polar, clinically depressed, has anger management problems, eating disorders or suffers from alcohol or drug addicition, chances are likely that the other spouse will get much greater time sharing with the children.  The spouse suffering from mental health issues may get limited or supervised visits.

2.  Alimony.  A non breadwinner spouse with mentalhealth issues may get more in an alimony award for rehabilitation purposes as a special needs spouse. 

3.  Dissipation of marital assets.  A spouse who is a compulsive gambler will be accused of dissipating the marital assets, and as a result, will get a smaller piece of the marital pie in divorce court.

4.  Unfit to parent.  A spouse who abuses prescription medications may be seen by the court as an unfit parent.  Ditto for a spouse who returns the children in a dirty, hungry, neglectful  state. 

5.  Domestic violence.  A spouse who goes into a violent rage, destroying marital or separate property will be awarded less in equitable distribution of property.

Anyone suffering from these mental health afflictions should seek the help of a professional counselor for the benefit of the entire family and for him or her to be able to better cope with divorce and life in general.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com of call for a consultation appointment with one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091.

Sex and money and marriage… Do something about it to save a failing marriage.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Marriages break up mainly because of two reasons:  sex and money.  Let’s discuss these one at a time. 

Either there is too much sex outside the marriage, and/or not enough sex within the marriage.  Marriages can be of the roommate kind as in a roommate marriage with your best friend, a sham marriage (simply a business deal for say immigration purposes or money), sexless marriages that are true marriages in every way except in the bedroom, or open marriages which encompasses sex in and out of the marriage bed.   Sex outside the marriage falls into several categories:  an affair with someone other than your spouse; multiple sex partners, sex addiciton, pornography;  sex chat rooms, use of prostitutes and escort services.  However it happens, one of the spouses is getting it, and the other is not.  The result?  Both spouses are not happy within the marriage.

Regarding money issues, it is obvious that in today’s economic climate, everyone, even the rich, have money problems.  Marital discussions lead to disagreements which lead to arguments which lead to contempt, disrespect, even sometimes domestic violence.  Some marital issues involve paying the bills, keeping or selling the marital home, cancelling the credit cards, taking out a survival loan, getting a job, moving out of state to get a better job, selling a car, the list is endless. 

How to resolve marital problems that are causing stress and sleepless nights?  First, I tell clients who need it to seek professional help.  Either go to marriage counseling with a psychologist or get medication with a psychiatrist.  For stress, coping skills, and anger management there are classes available to take and books you and your spouse can read.  For more serious ailments like bi polar disorder or depression, a medical doctor can prescribe drugs to control these illnesses.  Alcohol and drug abuse or addiction can also cause a marriage to fail.  There are treatment centers for both. 

The point is if your marriage is breaking or broken do something!  Get immediate help.  Then if all else fails, the ultimate recourse is a divorce for your own survival.  For more information click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com or call for a consultation with one of our attorneys at 561-835-9091.