The Many Faces of Cheaters

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You caught your husband/wife cheating.  Now what?  You have two options.  Leave or stay.I hate to boil it down to such a simplistic statement because I recognize the frustration, confrontation, anger, disappointment, hurt, fear and even sometimes violence that results. The emotions of being betrayed are intense and heart wrenching.  What follows discovery of the cheating is either an admission of guilt or denial of same; then there is the blame game.  Or making light of a serious situation. Or remorse and apologies followed by useless promises.  No matter how you look at it, cheating causes marital trouble.

But here’s the big punch:  I am not just talking about cheating as being extra marital sex, adultery, affairs, or romances.  In addition to sex cheating, I am also talking about financial cheating; food cheating; chores cheating; gambling cheating; emotional cheating; alcohol or drugs cheating.  Think about it for a minute.  Some marriages have more than one!

These many faces of cheating can have serious and disastrous effects on a marriage.  Things like financial ruin,broken trust, abandonment, domestic violence.

If you find yourself to be the victim of a cheater, like I said before, you can either leave or stay.  If you stay, hope for change.  If you leave, your life is then under your control.

For more information about divorce in Palm Beach County, call one of the divorce lawyers at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

BAD MARRIAGES GET WORSE DURING THE HOLIDAYS

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If you’ve married for love and the love has run out…or you married for money and the money has run out, changes are, you and your husband or wife are not the happily married couple everyone thinks.  With the holidays upon us, it can be especially difficult to keep smiling and pretending.

There are all sorts of marital stresses during the holidays.  First, consider the now very common blended families.  Children and ex spouses from another lifetime suddenly appear at your dining table.  Time sharing squabbles, airline delays, and disputed schedule changes are hard enough, but during the holidays, they all seem to magnify.

Second, consider the family budget. With the current state of the economy, holiday spending is a hot topic of dispute.  Even something so simple as when and where to shop can become major wars in a household already on edge.
Third, no rest for the weary takes the place of sexual intimacy in front of the fireplace.  Forgive me for being a grinch, but let’s get real here.  You do have a house full of people, right?

Lastly, closing out the year and having high hopes for the new year causes one to reflect.  Like those new year’s resolutions, if divorce is one of your aspirations, I am here to help get you through.  For more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

If You Want Rights, Get Married!

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I received an inquiry from a potential client who had been living with a man in a “marriage like” relationship for more than 20 years.  They had two children and lived in a nice house in Palm Beach Gardens.  From  outside, they appeared to be a happily married couple.  However, the relationship tanked when the “husband” met someone new and asked the “wife” to make “other arrangements”.  She came to me to ask what her rights are.

Unfortunately, the “husband” and the “wife” were not; further, there is no common law marriage in Florida. Additionally, there was no written cohabitation agreement for unmarried people living together long term.  There was no legal obligation for the man to voluntarily continue to support her or children that are over the age of majority.  In short, this woman was you know what.

For those among you who want legal rights, it is best to have a legal marriage.  That legal entity protects a partner from the scenario above.  If marriage is not possible, then a written cohabitation agreement is the only other alternative for protection.  For more information about this or other topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

Sex With Your Ex?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The shrinks always tell us that what attracted the two of you to each other in the first place, is the very thing you can’t stand about each other at the end of the marriage…EXCEPT SEX.  Sometimes couples fall back into the sex trap, causing conflicting feelings, derailing divorce proceedings that should be progressing, and mixing up the kids.

Sex with your ex is an all around bad idea.  It has been used as a power play, or ploy is a better word, to gain advantage in divorce court.  It has been used as a convenience, a familiar site, or worse, for abuse and control upon the other person.

If you are thinking about having sex with your ex while in divorce proceedings, seek professional help through  marriage counseling or psychotherapy.  Or if your spouse or former spouse “just makes it happen” in the lust of the moment, at least be aware that you are being used.  Stay away from denial.  Remember the sun will shine again tomorrow.  For more information about this or other hot divorce topics, call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

Children and Divorce…Psychological Effects

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am a divorce lawyer, not a child psychologist.  However, because I see common behaviors in children during the divorce process, I can speak to some of the psychological effects I see in my divorce practice.

1.    Kids are smart.  They play one parent against the other to get what they want, whether it is a toy or game, or time with a friend, a trip, a new pair of shoes etc.

2.  Kids have hope.  They want their parents back together again.

3.  Kids may be unwelcoming.  They do not need or want a new mommy or daddy, so be careful in forcing them into your new relationships.

4.  Kids are flexible.  They have friends whose parents are divorced and they have friends whose parents are not.

5.  Kids blame themselves.  Don’t you blame them too for the break up.

6.  Kids are not messengers.  Don’t use them as such.

7.  Kids are not pawns.  Don’t use your kids to “get” at the other parent.

8.  Kids need stability and love.  From BOTH of you.

This list can go on and on.  For more information about children and divorce, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Holidays are over…time for your future!

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is time to think about your future…that is what New Year’s resolutions are right?  To lose weight, to make more money, to be nicer to the kids.  We all have unrealized expectations.  But you don’t have to stay in a bad marriage, and furthermore, you don’t have to wait for your spouse to do something about it first.  Take control of  your life, your finances, your future.

Speak to me or another divorce lawyer for INFORMATION.  Then you can make intelligent decisions about whether to stay or divorce.  If you take an affirmative step to control our own destiny, your future will fall into place.

For more information about divorces in Palm Beach County, Florida, call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com .

All I Want For Christmas Is A Divorce!

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is on many couples’ wish list.  But several couples are afraid to admit it.  The marriage is over.  That’s harsh!  Especially during the holidays.  We don’t want to spoil it for the kids, the family, ourselves, etc.

But when the holidays are over, the left overs eaten, the tree out with the garbage, and decorations put away and the undesireable gifts returned, what do you have left but a broken marriage and being attached to someone you cannot stand.

Do something about it in the New Year.  Take a proactive role in your future.

For more information about divorce and divorce topics, procedures, laws in Palm Beach County, Florida, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.