HowTo Decide To Get A Divorce

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Deciding to divorce is a life changing decision… it is like deciding to change careers, quit a job, move away to another state, having a baby, getting remarried.  It is a decision that changes the course of one’s life.  In some cases it is necessary, in some cases it is for the better.  Deciding to divorce is not to be taken lightly.

Certainly, if there is domestic violence in the marriage, that is a no brainer.  You will be better off alone.  In cases where there is financial ruin caused by your spouse, that, too, is a no brainer.  You will be better off alone.  In cases where there are constantly sleepless nights, that, too, is a no brainer.  You will be better off alone. 

In other marriages, whether to divorce or not, is not so clear.  There are people out there who can help you decide whether to leave or stay.  One such team member is a therapist, psychologist, or marriage counselor.  These experts can assist you in realizing your present state, your goals and how to get there. 

Another such team member is your divorce lawyer.  With a consultation with a divorce lawyer, you can educate yourself as to what your legal marital rights are, and whether or not you should exercise them or give them up by staying put.  With an education from a divorce lawyer, you can weigh the pros and cons of leaving the marriage.  

You also have your trusted friends and family, who, perhaps, see things more clearly than you do.  They are, and will be your support group in the event you go forward with a divorce. 

Lastly, trust your instincts, while you realize that life is short.  It is ultimately your decision as to how you want to spend it.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com for more information. 

 

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Choosing A Divorce Lawyer

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I have written about this subject before, but because there is so much confusion about the hiring of a divorce lawyer, I feel it is important to write about it again.

The first issue one must decide after concluding that a divorce is inevitable, is whether or not to use professional assistance in terms of hiring a divorce lawyer.  Because of the economy, many divorcing couples try “do it yourself” divorce.  This is fine if you have no IRS debt, no credit card debt, and no assets that are joint.  Where the danger lies is that you may have joint assets and not realize it!  Then you are giving away your rights without know what they are. 

I often say that not using a divorce lawyer is penny wise and pound foolish.  And yes, divorce lawyers are not cheap.  But if you have children, assets or debts at stake, don’t be foolish.  Get a lawyer on your side.

How to choose one?  Go for a consultation.  Look around. A lawyer should not tell you only what you want to hear.  He/she should know what he/she is talking about, has years of experience, a nice office and an experienced staff.  Get a feel for compatability and trust.  Do not hire a lawyer solely upon advertisements or hourly rates.  Just because the hourly rate is low or the retainer is minimal, these are not good reasons to choose that divorce lawyer.  For more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

The “Embarassment” of Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

A long time ago, divorce used to be a vehicle for the glamourous movie stars of the 1940s and 1950s.  Today it occurs throughout every socioeconomic level.   People tend to view divorce differently, depending upon their upbringing, religion, spirituality, culture and whether or not they are liberal or conservative.

Some see divorce as a vehicle for growth, self awareness, independence, and freedom.

Some see divorce as a failure, a shame, something not to be talked about.

Whatever your individual perspective, keep in mind that marriage is a legal institution, a legal relationship.  Along with it come rights, obligations and privileges.  The same holds true for divorce.  It is a legal entity or remedy.

As in any legal relationship, the parties are bound by contract, in this case the marriage contract.  If there is a breach, the remedy is divorce.

The sub issues are children of the marriage, money of the marriage, mental health, domestic violence and the like.  All are considered in the family court, which is a court of equity, or fairness.  In Florida, there is no right or wrong, only a husband and a wife who wish to not be married any more.  What happens to their relationship is usually up to them if they settle their divorce, or up to the judge if they can’t settle.  For more information call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

The Holidays and a BAD marriage.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The holidays can be hell for those of you who are in miserable marriages.  You are stuck doing “the family thing” with no diversion, no escape…  You are constantly reminded of why you work too much, garden too much, shop too much, go over to your neighbors house too much, to try to get away.  Your marriage is broken for whatever reason, and there are too many marital problems.  You are stressed to the max and want to scream.

Your coping mechanisms are challenged at this time of year.  You are trying to hold it together for the kids.   Also, you don’t want to let on to your extended family members and friends that anything is wrong.  You don’t know how to fix it either.  You are living in your own cell.

What to do?  Try to make the best of a bad situation.  Then after the holidays, SEE A LAWYER.  For more information about your rights, and your options, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

No palimony, no common law marriage in the State of Florida.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I often get inquiries from women who have spent the greater part of 15 to 20 living together in the relationship, usually with a very wealthy man.  The relationship ends, and the women come  to me to find out what their rights are.

Unfortunately, I have to be the bearer of bad news.  In the State of Florida, unlike California and some other states, there is no palimony law.  That means that the client has “WASTED” 15 to 20 of the best years of her life, with no legal recourse after the relationship ends.  “BUT WE LIVED AS HUSBAND AND WIFE”, they say.  “EVERYONE THOUGHT WE WERE MARRIED”  they say.  They weren’t!  At least under the law. 

In New York State, if you hold yourselves out to the public as husband and wife for 7 years, it is as good as a marriage license under New York law.  BUT NOT HERE IN FLORIDA!  Marriage laws are specific to each individual state.  What applies in New York or California, does not always apply in Florida.

The way around this is to have a CO HABITATION AGREEMENT which provides rights by contract between the parties.  That contract gives rights.  Without one, it is too bad so sad.  And yes, it is sad to spend that much time in a relationship with nothing to show for it.  That is why I recommend marriage in the State of Florida, or at the least, have a co habitation agreement.  For more information about this or other topics in family law, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Is it worth getting divorced in this economy?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It depends upon who you ask.  With marital assets devalued, such as the marital home, the  spouse who buys out the other spouse of his/her share of the marital estate is getting a bargain.  The payor gets the bargain and the payee gets less than normal.   Spitting securities accounts costs the payor less because the value is lower than say a year ago or a year from now.   There may be less alimony to pay because bonuses are down or non existant.    But if you are the payee, it might be better to wait until the economy improves to file for divorce.

Another thing to consider is are you at the end of your rope?  Do you want out at any cost?  Do you have another relationship you want to move into?  Are your children being detrimentally harmed by the current relationship?  There are so many ways to evaluate whether or not to file for divorce, that only you can determine that.

If you need help in figuring it out, consult with a professional therapist.   Then visit the divorce lawyer to learn about your rights and options.

For more information call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What to bring to a divorce consultation.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

A consultation with a divorce lawyer is an education.  Most of my clients feel alot better leaving than when they arrived, only because they leave knowing in general what their rights are and what to expect.  I do not have a crystal ball on my desk, but my experience helps in predicting a narrow assortment of LIKELY scenarios that go with the facts of the marriage.  Here are the things to bring to the consultation:

1.  Knowledge of the family finances.  It is helpful if a client brings with him or her a knowledge of the family finances.  Recent tax returns or pay stubs of both the husband and the wife are very helpful in predicting child support, alimony and attorneys fees.

2.  A list of items that are important to that client.  For example if the husband MUST have the big screen TV, or boat or motorcycle, he puts that on his list. 

3.  An approximation of liquid assets whether they are in stocks, CDs, or other financial instruments.   Include bank statements, and retirement accounts.   Know how accounts are titled.

4.  A list of what was brought into the marriage, whether it was a car, funds from the sale of a prior home, bank accounts or whatever.

5.  A knowledge of the family debts, mortgages owed, car loans, lines of credit or business debt.

6.  An idea of how to deal with timesharing of the children, if any.

Having an outline of the issues up for discussion is a good start toward learning what your legal options in divorce can be.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, consult with one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091, or click on the Firm web site at www.familylawwpb.com.