Children and Divorce…Psychological Effects

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am a divorce lawyer, not a child psychologist.  However, because I see common behaviors in children during the divorce process, I can speak to some of the psychological effects I see in my divorce practice.

1.    Kids are smart.  They play one parent against the other to get what they want, whether it is a toy or game, or time with a friend, a trip, a new pair of shoes etc.

2.  Kids have hope.  They want their parents back together again.

3.  Kids may be unwelcoming.  They do not need or want a new mommy or daddy, so be careful in forcing them into your new relationships.

4.  Kids are flexible.  They have friends whose parents are divorced and they have friends whose parents are not.

5.  Kids blame themselves.  Don’t you blame them too for the break up.

6.  Kids are not messengers.  Don’t use them as such.

7.  Kids are not pawns.  Don’t use your kids to “get” at the other parent.

8.  Kids need stability and love.  From BOTH of you.

This list can go on and on.  For more information about children and divorce, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Children and Divorce…A Legal Check List

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are many issues in a divorce that has children involved, both the legal and the psychological.  I will address the legal issues today and the psychological issues in another writing.

Legal issues involving the children of divorcing parents include:

1.  Time sharing (or what used to be called “custody”).

2.  Health insurance (children MUST be covered in the State of Florida).

3.  Schools (private or public)

4. After school care or activities

5.  Relocation with minor children or geographic restrictions

6.  Child support

7.  The parents’ significant others

8.  The parents relationship with each other (shared parental responsibility)

9.  Uncovered medical/dental bills

10.  Housing must be clean and safe

11.   Pets

These are the issues that must be addressed in any marital settlement agreement or final judgment of divorce by trial if there are children involved.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Can You Still Have Sex With Spouse While Divorcing???

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am not a moralist…I am a Florida Bar divorce lawyer.  Legally speaking, you can have sex with whomever you want to.  Florida is a no fault state.

If you are in divorce proceedings, and are still having sex with your husband or wife, this just might make settlement EASIER.  Yes, EASIER.  You still have a commonality which obviously matters to both of you.  I am a lawyer, not a therapist.  And I am not suggesting you do this, but, as a lawyer, I don’t find it entirely bad.

Sex is communication.  Divorce settlements require communication.  You can connect the dots for yourself.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Can A Cheating Spouse Be Punished By Florida Divorce Courts?

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Sitting in my office, listening to potential divorce clients, it seems like no one is having sex within their marriage.  They are either sex deprived, or they or their spouse are cheating on the side.

To some extent, the Florida law protects cheaters, directing the “cheated upon” spouse to simply divorce the cheater.   That’s what is meant when we divorce lawyers say Florida is a “no fault” state.    However, the law does protect an innocent spouse from dissipation of marital assets.   What that means is if a cheater is spending significant sums of marital monies on the affair, that so called dissipation of marital assets can be considered in the financial scheme of the divorce.  There may be an unequal equitable distribution given in favor of the innocent spouse by the divorce court judge.

Case law defines significant sums as: buying a girl friend an expensive car, paying her rent, buying a condo for the paramour, taking numerous expensive vacations or shopping trips, all the usual but expensive trappings of keeping a lover.   A casual dinner out does not qualify.

If you suspect your spouse is the cheating kind, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb for more information.  We may want to put a private eye on your spouse and use that testimony and evidence in court to get you the better part of the marital estate.

What Is A Complex Divorce?

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

A complex divorce is one in which there are many issues to resolve and the Husband and Wife are anything but agreeable.  It could involve many real estate properties, tax issues, a privately held corporation or several closely held businesses, marital assets in several states, trust assets, split siblings or special needs children, assets or businesses that need valuations, and supplemental issues including vocational studies, custody battles, an unfit parent, off shore bank accounts and the like.   Complex divorces can also include bad behavior including adultery and the dissipation of marital assets due to outside relationships, gambling, drug or alcohol use or uncontrollable shopping or other mental health issues.

The more complex the marriage, the more complex the divorce.  The more a couple has to fight over, generally the more complex the divorce.  This type of divorce usually turns ugly and requires the use of a divorce team.  This team includes psychologists or psychiatrists, appraisers, private investigator, real estate agents, CPAs, estate planning attorneys, corporate attorneys, tax attorneys, and of course the divorce lawyer.   For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

What Happens If I Move Out?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida I get this question all the time from clients who are doing divorce planning.  Divorce planning is another subject that is very important and I will address that in another article.  However, moving out of the marital home raises lots of questions from clients, the most common addressed below: First question:  DO I LOSE MY RIGHTS?  If your name is on the deed to the marital home, the answer is no. Second question:  WILL I LOSE MY KIDS?  It is your children’s rights that are protected by law here, that being the right to have two loving parents.  You will not lose your parental rights unless you are unfit to parent. Third question:   CAN HE/SHE KEEP ME OUT?  Only if there is a restraining order or some other court order giving your spouse exclusive use and possession. Fourth question:  WHAT DO I DO IF MY SPOUSE CHANGES THE LOCKS?  Change them back. Fifth question:  CAN I TAKE MY STUFF?  Only your personal effects ie clothing, cosmetics, shoes, hats, hand bags,  papers.  The rest is considered marital and subject to equitable distribution. Lastly:  HOW DO I PROTECT MY RIGHTS:  Photocopy everything and photograph everything else. For more information about this subject, divorce planning or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

Misconceptions About Divorce

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I often get asked questions from clients that seem so elementary to me that sometimes I feel like a therapist.  But I get these same questions over and over again, so I thought I should address them for the benefit of those who need the advice:

1.  Is divorce going to devastate my family?  It doesn’t have to.  If you and your spouse are adult enough to put children first, you will realize you will be co parenting for a long time and do what you think is in the best interests of the children.  The problem is that often the two opinions don’t jive but rather conflict.  When that happens, there is mediation or therapy.

2.  Do I have to list every penny I spend and earn on my financial affidavit?  No, as long as you estimate closely to what the real figure is.   This is not an exercise in balancing your checkbook.

3.  Will my spouse follow a court order?  He/she should, but if he/she doesn’t, you have legal recourse.

4.  Will my case settle?  In my practice 75% of our divorce cases do settle.  As for a particular case, who knows?  We certainly advocate for amicable settlement, but sometimes that is just not possible.

5.  Will I have to leave the family business?  If you are divorcing, yet working in a family business, it is highly likely that you will be foreclosed from continuing in that position if the family is on your spouse’ side.

6.  Will my lifestyle suffer as a result of the divorce?  It depends.  Some people prosper without their spouse dragging them down financially or emotionally.   Others face problems on their own that they never had before as part of a married couple.

7.   Who gets the dog?  This is an interesting one.  Pets are viewed under the law as chattel or things, no different than a living room sofa.  However, pets carry the emotions of their owners as if they are children.  I have done cases where the former spouses exercise time sharing.  Also I usually try to have the pet go where the children go at the time.

8.  Can I date and have sex?  Of course.  Florida is a no fault state.  Just be sure the children aren’t harmed in some way from your behavior.

There are hundreds of these types of questions.  If you have one, pick up the phone and call 561 835 9091 to arrange for a consultation with me on your specific case.  Or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.