What To Do If You Want OUT!

What To Do If You Want OUT!.

How To Introduce Your New Boyfriend/Girlfriend To Your Children

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It happens so often that the marriage breaks because of a boyfriend or girlfriend in the shadows.  Now that you are in divorce court, the cat is often let out of the bag.  The husband or wife has a new love and inevitably, that paramour will be introduced to the children.

How you do that can be damaging to the well being and mental health of your kids.  Know that all children want their parents back together in an ideal world.  They don’t want to have to call a stranger mommy or daddy, although you would be surprised at how often children are forced to do this.

Children need time to adjust to the divorce, to having two households, to having two sets of toys, books, etc.  If you force a new love onto your children, there could be rejection and resentment, including tantrums and acting out in school.  The best way to deal with a new relationship and your kids, is to take it slowly, and reassure the children at every opportunity that you love them.

If you are getting divorced in Palm Beach County, Florida, and want more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

Should you rush to settle or hold out for more?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

As with any type of negotiation, timing is everything.  In the State of Florida, all parties to a divorce have to attend mediation, which is a setting promoting settlement of the disputed issues in the divorce.  The question becomes whether or not to settle. 

The answer is, it depends.  Mostly on your mindset and your circumstances.   Ask yourself the following:

1.  Am I ready to move on.

2.  Can I manage with what is negotited and on the table.

3.  Has there been full financial disclosure and if not, do I care.

4.  How are the kids doing?

5.  Can I take the stress of a trial.

6. Do I have sufficient funds to support litigation.

While each case is different, there may be other considerations as well.  These include the health of the parties, age, incomes, extended families, is another marriage imminent, and other such considerations.  For more information about your rights, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Preparing for divorce…the devil’s in the details.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The marriage hasn’t been good for awhile.   The house is going into foreclosure or a short sale.  A new job awaits you in a different state.  Is it time to start over? 

Revolution makes evolution.  Time for a new life.  But before you jump into divorce court, it is time to take some steps to plan for your divorce.

Divorce planning can be complex or simple depending upon the extent of assets and debts of the marriage.  If there are assets, setting up a trust with your spouse may be just the answer to getting assets out of the marital estate and off to the kids by agreement before the divorce word is ever spoken. 

If debts are high,  it might be wise to consult a bankruptcy attorney as well as a divorce attorney.  It might be best to let that house go into foreclosure. Your course of action depends on the facts specific to your marriage.   Divorce planning is just that…thinking before you leap.   Know your finances, and know where to get good advice.

For more information about this or other divorce topics, call on one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

How To Tell The Kids We Are Getting Divorced

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

You have met with a divorce lawyer.  You have photocopied boxes of documents…everything from tax returns to bank statements to credit card receipts.  You discussed divorce with your spouse.  Now, what about the kids?

Ideally, if the divorce is going to be a collaborative one – that is, an amicable or uncontested divorce – then spouses should share this responsibility of breaking the news to the family.  However, in cases where one spouse has moved out and on, or the divorce is acrimonious, often the task belongs to the custodial parent. 

Below is a check list of what to do and what not to do when telling your school age children about the divorce:

1.  It is important to sit the children down and make it very clear that they are not the problem.  The divorce is not their fault.  Children sometimes think they are the cause and feel terribly responsible for the situation.  Make sure they know it is not their fault.

2.  Tell the children that you are not divorcing them.  Children need to feel secure and loved by both parents.  Especially at this traumatic time.

3.  Don’t disparage the other spouse.  Children identify themselves with both parents.  If something is wrong with one according to the other, they think something is wrong with them.  This causes low self esteem, nightmares and school problems.

4.  Explain what divorce is, and if you can, why the divorce is occurring.  Be sure to explain it is between mommy and daddy.  Also stress that they will always have a mommy and a daddy no matter what.

5.  Children need assurance that they will be safe and that everything is going to be ok.  Explain to them about having two homes and two places to stay, two sets of friends, two beds, two rooms, two birthday parties, etc.  Put the situation in a positive light that youngsters can understand. 

What if one spouse has another newer family and has moved on?  Get your children to counseling.  This may have to be court ordered, but so be it. 

There is a web site to read more about this subject at www.howdoitellthekids.com. For more information about the legalities, consult with the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, PA at 561-835-9091 or visit our web site at www.familylawwpb.com.