The Many Faces of Cheaters

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You caught your husband/wife cheating.  Now what?  You have two options.  Leave or stay.I hate to boil it down to such a simplistic statement because I recognize the frustration, confrontation, anger, disappointment, hurt, fear and even sometimes violence that results. The emotions of being betrayed are intense and heart wrenching.  What follows discovery of the cheating is either an admission of guilt or denial of same; then there is the blame game.  Or making light of a serious situation. Or remorse and apologies followed by useless promises.  No matter how you look at it, cheating causes marital trouble.

But here’s the big punch:  I am not just talking about cheating as being extra marital sex, adultery, affairs, or romances.  In addition to sex cheating, I am also talking about financial cheating; food cheating; chores cheating; gambling cheating; emotional cheating; alcohol or drugs cheating.  Think about it for a minute.  Some marriages have more than one!

These many faces of cheating can have serious and disastrous effects on a marriage.  Things like financial ruin,broken trust, abandonment, domestic violence.

If you find yourself to be the victim of a cheater, like I said before, you can either leave or stay.  If you stay, hope for change.  If you leave, your life is then under your control.

For more information about divorce in Palm Beach County, call one of the divorce lawyers at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

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The Holidays and Extra Marital Affairs.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

When the holidays roll around, it gets easier to discover a cheating spouse.  Why?  Because they have obligations to the paramour.  It is common for a cheating husband or wife to take some time away from the family to spend some holiday time with their lovers.

They will also spend marital monies on their lovers for gifts and hotel trysts, which may be easy to trace through credit card bills or atm withdrawals.

If you really want to be sure, put a private investigator on the trail of an unfaithful husband or wife.  You will have photos, locations, and a lot more information than you have right now.

Of what relevance is all this?  First, if substantial marital funds are spent on an extra marital lover, that has legal significance.  Second, it could be a catalyst to helping you decide to divorce or not to divorce.  If the marriage is bad to begin with, and you learn about affairs, this might help you to make up  your mind to divorce.  Information is a good thing to have.  For more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

How To Catch a Cheating Husband or Wife.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You may have your suspicions, but how do you actually catch a cheater?

Let me count the ways…

1.  WATCH THE MONEY.   Having a girlfriend  is like a luxury item…it costs money.   Look on your bank statements for cash withdrawals, ATM use, credit card statements, investment account withdrawals and the like.  You may find unusual activity.  Photocopy everything!

2.  CHECK THE CELL PHONE.   Repeat numbers dialed, or repeat calls received is good evidence.  Also, when your spouse is in the shower or watching his/her favorite football team/tv  show, check the text messages.  You would be surprised at what you will find.

3.  PAY ATTENTION TO HOW LONG HE/SHE SITS AT THE COMPUTER. He/she may be on a dating web site such as match.com or communicating with a lover.   There are forensic computer technicians who can come in when your spouse is not home and can copy the hard drive.

4.  NOTATE HIS/HER COMINGS AND GOINGS.  Is your spouse out of the house most of the time?  Does he/she come in at all hours of the night?

5.  HIRE A PRIVATE EYE.  This is how you get a lot of information.  And photos.

For more information about divorce tips and the law, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.

What “Causes” Divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Many married couples go along not realizing how a relationship can deteriorate into a bad situation.  Then when their partner mentions divorce, they are completely taken by surprise.

The list is a short one as to the main causes for divorce: sex, money, power.

Take sex first…either there is not enough sex in the marriage, or no sex, or sex outside the marriage.  Affairs, adultery, cheating, broken loyalty and broken trust is the result.  Irreconcilable differences arise.

Re: money, financial strain on the marriage causes arguing as to what bills go unpaid, foreclosure of the marital home, loss of job or income, laziness to find work, mounting expenses… all are ripe grounds for discontent, dispute and divorce.

Then comes power, which can result in controlling behavior of one over the other.  Verbal or physical abuse, domestic violence claims, criminal behavior of stealing a spouse’ personal property (like jewelry or tools), is the result.

Other causes of divorce include mental health problems, issues with in laws or extended families, children of another marriage, drug or alcohol use. While each case is different, if you see yourself in any of the above scenarios, consult with a divorce lawyer immediately to protect your rights.   Call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Can you date during divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West palm Beach, Florida

The divorce papers are filed.  You are even living separately.  But you are still married.  Can you date, start a new relationship, have sex while the divorce is pending?

The answer depends upon which state you live in.  Marriage laws, adultery laws, palimony laws are state specific.  I am licensed to practice law in Florida, so I can only address the laws of the State of Florida.

In Florida,  once divorce papers are filed, and even before, yes you can…date, have sex, be involved.  Florida is a no fault state.  If your spouse feels “cheated on” the legal recourse is divorce.  No questions asked.  But here is the danger:  If you do anything in front of the children which will detrimentally harm them, you might suffer the consequences of less time sharing with your children. 

Children are having a hard enough time going back and forth between separated parents.  Don’t add to their anguish by bringing another person into their lives.  They are still loyal to the other parent and oftentimes have not gotten “used to” the new arrangement.   You may be involved with a new significant other, but it is difficult for children to share your joy, at least at the beginning of the break up of the marriage.  So be sensitive to children and other close family members when deciding to date and form new relationships.

For more information about divorce, dating, and the process, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Cheating spouses increase with bad economy.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Bad mortgages, job loss, shrinking business, bills piling up, all these economic factors are taking its toll on marriages.  Couples everywhere are fighting over the family finances.  They are also fighting over adultery.  Technology and social web sites like Facebook and Match.com are adding fuel to the cheating heart.

The people who follow these sort of statistics, like the founders of the web site Ashley Madison, a web site for married cheaters, say affairs are on the rise.  Extra marital sex is where stressed out spouses are taking comfort.  If you find yourself in this situation, come talk to a divorce lawyer for your protection. One of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. can be reached by calling 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site www.familylawwpb.com for additional information.