The Many Faces of Cheaters

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You caught your husband/wife cheating.  Now what?  You have two options.  Leave or stay.I hate to boil it down to such a simplistic statement because I recognize the frustration, confrontation, anger, disappointment, hurt, fear and even sometimes violence that results. The emotions of being betrayed are intense and heart wrenching.  What follows discovery of the cheating is either an admission of guilt or denial of same; then there is the blame game.  Or making light of a serious situation. Or remorse and apologies followed by useless promises.  No matter how you look at it, cheating causes marital trouble.

But here’s the big punch:  I am not just talking about cheating as being extra marital sex, adultery, affairs, or romances.  In addition to sex cheating, I am also talking about financial cheating; food cheating; chores cheating; gambling cheating; emotional cheating; alcohol or drugs cheating.  Think about it for a minute.  Some marriages have more than one!

These many faces of cheating can have serious and disastrous effects on a marriage.  Things like financial ruin,broken trust, abandonment, domestic violence.

If you find yourself to be the victim of a cheater, like I said before, you can either leave or stay.  If you stay, hope for change.  If you leave, your life is then under your control.

For more information about divorce in Palm Beach County, call one of the divorce lawyers at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at

Can A Cheating Spouse Be Punished By Florida Divorce Courts?

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Sitting in my office, listening to potential divorce clients, it seems like no one is having sex within their marriage.  They are either sex deprived, or they or their spouse are cheating on the side.

To some extent, the Florida law protects cheaters, directing the “cheated upon” spouse to simply divorce the cheater.   That’s what is meant when we divorce lawyers say Florida is a “no fault” state.    However, the law does protect an innocent spouse from dissipation of marital assets.   What that means is if a cheater is spending significant sums of marital monies on the affair, that so called dissipation of marital assets can be considered in the financial scheme of the divorce.  There may be an unequal equitable distribution given in favor of the innocent spouse by the divorce court judge.

Case law defines significant sums as: buying a girl friend an expensive car, paying her rent, buying a condo for the paramour, taking numerous expensive vacations or shopping trips, all the usual but expensive trappings of keeping a lover.   A casual dinner out does not qualify.

If you suspect your spouse is the cheating kind, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb for more information.  We may want to put a private eye on your spouse and use that testimony and evidence in court to get you the better part of the marital estate.

What To Do If You Catch Your Spouse CHEATING???

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I get this question all the time in my practice.  You really only have two options: you look the other way and enjoy life, or if you are not enjoying life, you file for divorce.  Florida is a no fault state.  Spouses can and do cheat.  It’s how you react and what you do or how your spouse reacts and what he/she does that determines the future.

If the cheating takes on a serious turn, the cheater may file for divorce.  Or the innocent spouse may file first, depending upon emotions.  But what I see more and more, it is not the cheater filing for divorce, but rather the innocent spouse.  The cheater generally likes things just the way they are.

The innocent spouse should gather photographs, documents, copies of everything financial, store small valuables like jewelry off premises, and spend time preparing for the other spouse to know you are angry…angry enough to file for divorce.  Sweetness helps to garner information, and often the cheater will brag to the spouse how amazing life is.  Let them talk, all the while finding out who the other person is, where he/she lives, and other forthcoming information.   Information turns into amunition.  Especially when you have all the information to give to your private investigator to determine if your spouse is dissipating marital assets on the paramour.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at for more information.

If You’re In Abusive Relationship, Get Out Now

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Although I am a divorce lawyer in Palm Beach County, Florida, I often think I could have been a therapist.  In dealing with legal issues of divorce matters, I often counsel my clients to help them to feel better about their decision , because divorce is not easy under the best of circumstances.

If you think you are being abused in your marriage, your recourse is 1) to get counseling to fix the problem, or 2) get out before the situation escalates.  Here are some tips to determine whether or not you should file for divorce immediately:

1.  If your spouse isolates you from friends and family.

2.  If your spouse is verbally demeaning, puts you down in front of people (even your children),  ridicules you, constantly critisizes at every turn, you can never do anything right,  bullies you, or purposely embarrases you.

3.  If your spouse blames everyone (mostly you) for all of his/her bad fortune.  It’s never his/her fault.

4.  If your spouse is jealous of you, what you do, who you are with, your time away from him/her.

5.  If you have a parent/child or master/servant relationship and you are the child or servant, you are being abused.

6.  If your spouse threatens you with leaving, hurting you or your children, cutting you off financially, or uses fear to control you, time to flee.

7.  If your spouse is an addict of any kind, i.e. illegal or prescription drugs, alcoholic, sex, shopping, gambling, internet surfing, or any other addiction, it is at YOUR expense emotionally.

8.  If you catch your spouse cheating on you or spying on you.

9.  Of course physical violence is the holy grail of abusers.  Get out while you still can before anyone gets hurt.

For more information about divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at for more information.

Postnuptial Agreements Have Two Purposes.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are two major reasons for doing a Postnuptial agreement.  First, if done after the wedding, say in the first year of marriage, the postnuptial agreement can reaffirm the prenuptial agreement and all its terms.  It adds a second layer of protection to the prenuptial agreement, making it that much harder to prevail in a challenge down the road.  Postnuptial agreements can also modify prenuptial agreements by changing some of the terms, now that the marriage has taken place.

Postnuptial agreements can also serve as separation agreements where a divorce is not imminent.  It gives the parties a sense of control over separate assets and debts, during a time when the husband and wife may be trying to figure out whether or not to divorce.  Postnuptial agreements can be viewed as separation agreements, or marital settlement agreements should a divorce be filed in the court.

The subject matter of the postnuptial agreement can be anything from asset and debt division to who pays for what household expenses, or what happens to a spouse if he/she gets caught cheating.  They are valid, enforceable agreements if signed under the proper circumstances.  For more information about or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at

Should You Get Divorced?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You know you are in an unhappy marriage, but should you pick up that phone to contact a divorce lawyer?  Below are some reasons why you should:

1.  If you are being physically hurt.  Domestic violence transcends all socio economic levels.  It should not be tolerated.  You must take your children and get out of harm’s way.

2.  You never have any money.  Your spouse doles out the dollars sparingly making you beg for more.   In divorce court, you will get your life back.

3.   You have no help at home.  It would be easier to just take care of yourself instead of your spouse’ needs too.

4.  Sex, alcohol, gambling, drugs, spending addictions are part of your life.  Your spouse is ruining your life and won’t get help.

5.  You are always on edge, nervous, or walking on egg shells.  No way to live, and life is too short.

6.  Too much yelling.  If you say the sky is blue and your spouse says it has a purple tinge to it, bail now.  Unless you are a litigator and want to spend your life arguing.

7.  Cheaters and liars, oh my.  A leopard does not change its spots.

There are many reasons to not stay married.  Find out today what your rights are for your specific marriage facts.  Call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at for more information.

Misconceptions About Divorce In Palm Beach, Florida

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are many myths and misconceptions about divorce in Palm Beach County, Florida.  One of the most common is that the judge is concerned about why the marriage broke down.  The judge doesn’t care about  punishing a cheating spouse.  Since Florida is a no fault state, the job of the judge is only to divide the assets and debts of the marriage in an equitable fashion and protect any children of the marriage.  Only where there is significant and substantial economic misconduct in a marriage, such as gambling or drugs, or spending large sums on a paramour, will the judge address a deviation from a shared split of assets.

The second misconception is that everything should be divided equally.  Equitable distribution of assets and debts does not necessarily mean equal to the penny.  There are many statutory factors a judge must consider and he/she must also make certain findings about the facts of the marriage in doing an equitable distribution scheme.

Another misconception is that divorces must go to trial.  More than 70% of Palm Beach County divorce cases settle in mediation or prior to mediation.  While it is true that all parties to a divorce in Palm Beach County, Florida MUST go to mediation at least once to attempt a settlement, most cases settle there.  The mediator and lawyers indicate what the outcome will likely be if a particular case is tried in the courtroom, and the parties can settle based upon that.  It is far cheaper and the results will likely be similar. 

Remember, it is always better to have a divorce lawyer to advise you.  Sometimes, you also need tax advice from a tax advisor, and in cases where there are children involved, therapists and other professional are advised.  If you are thinking about getting divorced in Palm Beach County, Florida, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at for more information.