Children and Divorce…Psychological Effects

by Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am a divorce lawyer, not a child psychologist.  However, because I see common behaviors in children during the divorce process, I can speak to some of the psychological effects I see in my divorce practice.

1.    Kids are smart.  They play one parent against the other to get what they want, whether it is a toy or game, or time with a friend, a trip, a new pair of shoes etc.

2.  Kids have hope.  They want their parents back together again.

3.  Kids may be unwelcoming.  They do not need or want a new mommy or daddy, so be careful in forcing them into your new relationships.

4.  Kids are flexible.  They have friends whose parents are divorced and they have friends whose parents are not.

5.  Kids blame themselves.  Don’t you blame them too for the break up.

6.  Kids are not messengers.  Don’t use them as such.

7.  Kids are not pawns.  Don’t use your kids to “get” at the other parent.

8.  Kids need stability and love.  From BOTH of you.

This list can go on and on.  For more information about children and divorce, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561 835 9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Advertisements

What Does Your Future Look Like?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is a new year…and it happens every year.  Are you where you want to be or is it the same old, same old.  Only you can decide.

What goes into making the decision to stay in a bad marriage, make the marriage better, or bail?  Ask your friends, neighbors, teachers, clergy, therapist.  Hardly anyone makes the decision to divorce all by themselves.

There are people out there who love you, care about you, and know you.

Think about domestic violence, drug use, abuse of alcohol or children.  Spouses who kick the dog are having anger management problems that will surely escalate.  Think about change…which is something most people hate.  Think about fear, denial, hope it will get better but it doesn’t.  Go to counseling.  Go to the bank.  Go see a lawyer.

Then you can make an intelligent decision about facing the family, friends, and people who care and respect you.  Then there are the details of child support, time sharing, alimony, paying off debts, dividing the assets.

If the inevitable is looming, take some control of yourself, get your mojo back and be yourself.   For helpful information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at http://www.familylawwpb.com.