Depositions…what is that and how to prepare.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

What is a deposition and how do you prepare for one?  A deposition is live discovery.  What that means is that the opposing party can ask you any question that will lead to relevant information about your financial situation, relationship with your children, domestic violence in the home, what medications you are prescribed but don’t take, and just about anything else.  And yes, you do have to answer, or if not, the judge will rule on whether or not you have to answer and whether or not to tax you attorneys fees for having to have this hearing on whether or not you have to answer.

The only questions you really don’t have to answer involve criminal activity or attorney client, or spousal or physician  privileged information.

In our office we often video tape our taking of depositions, because that way we can see a squirm or grimace.  Sometimes that is more telling than the answer to the question.

To prepare for a deposition, know your finances and your situation.  Be aware of your body language.  And no, you can’t be coached by your attorney before you answer a question.

For more information about depositions or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A., at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Living Together During Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Because of economic reasons, many couples can not afford to separate and run two households even after one of the spouses has filed for divorce.  This can be both a good and bad situation. 

Where an amicable settlement of divorce issues is imminent, a joint living situation gives the parties time to discuss things and work out the terms of the divorce.

Where there is dispute, or worse, anger management or mental health issues, this can cause a situation to blow up out of proportion, and even result in domestic violence.

How do you live together during divorce?  If the house is large enough, it is easy to stay out of the other’s way.  Keep a separate bedroom or live in the guest quarters.  However, if the home is small, you have to schedule use of kitchen, baths, and refrigerator with tact.  Don’t get in each other’s way.  Don’t antagonize the other.  Try not to let a bad situation get worse.

Sit down to discuss living expenses and how they will be shared.  Discuss chores and timesharing with the kids.  If you cannot accomplish this between yourselves, bring in a divorce lawyer to get a temporary court order which governs these issues.   In this way you can at least alleviate disputes on a temporary basis to allow for peaceful living until the divorce decree is signed.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What “Causes” Divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Many married couples go along not realizing how a relationship can deteriorate into a bad situation.  Then when their partner mentions divorce, they are completely taken by surprise.

The list is a short one as to the main causes for divorce: sex, money, power.

Take sex first…either there is not enough sex in the marriage, or no sex, or sex outside the marriage.  Affairs, adultery, cheating, broken loyalty and broken trust is the result.  Irreconcilable differences arise.

Re: money, financial strain on the marriage causes arguing as to what bills go unpaid, foreclosure of the marital home, loss of job or income, laziness to find work, mounting expenses… all are ripe grounds for discontent, dispute and divorce.

Then comes power, which can result in controlling behavior of one over the other.  Verbal or physical abuse, domestic violence claims, criminal behavior of stealing a spouse’ personal property (like jewelry or tools), is the result.

Other causes of divorce include mental health problems, issues with in laws or extended families, children of another marriage, drug or alcohol use. While each case is different, if you see yourself in any of the above scenarios, consult with a divorce lawyer immediately to protect your rights.   Call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Staying together for the sake of the kids…is it worth it?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Back in the fifties and sixties, divorce was not as prevalent as it is today.  Divorce laws were tougher and it was mostly the domain of celebrities.  However, many couples raising baby boomers wanted to stay together for the sake of the children in order to remain respectful in the community and to maintain an in tact family.

Psychologists and “having a shrink” became vogue in the late seventies and eighties, and since then, dramatically changed their opinions about divorce and domestic violence, as the women’s movement took hold.

Today, if you ask therapists about staying together merely for the sake of the children, most would generally advise not to do that.  The reason:  in a home where a divorce should occur, staying together creates an unhealthy environment in which to raise children.  There are several reasons:

The children learn abuse, verbal and  physical.  They learn disrespect, not love.  They see fighting and arguing among adults.  They blame themselves for their parents’ malfunctions.  They act out in school.  They develop problems interacting with others.  The list can go on and on.

If you are in a situation that requires a divorce but you are not sure what to do, consult with a marriage counselor.  Then see a divorce lawyer to protect  your rights.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Making the decision to divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is a lot easier to decide to marry than it is to decide to divorce.  Now, there may be children involved, assets, debts, marital problems, even threats and domestic violence.

The best advice I can give to anyone who is even thinking about divorce, is to consult with a marriage counselor.  A therapist /psychologist is trained to help you analyze your situation from an emotional standpoint.  Are you strong enough to take on the stress of even an amicable divorce?  If not, you may have to work on that for a couple of months before proceeding to the divorce lawyer. 

Once you have come to the conclusion that divorce is your only option, a consultation with a divorce lawyer may make you feel better about having a specific plan in place to protect yourself, physically, emotionally, and financially.  You don’t have to continue to live in a disruptive situation.  You do have options and there is lots of hope for a brighter future.

For more information consult with one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Get your spouse out of the house!

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You’ve decided to get a divorce, but now you want to separate.  How do you get your spouse out of the house?  To accomplish that goal, you must understand why your spouse won’t go, just by you asking.

First there is the emotional reason.  If you are the one who wants the divorce, why should he/she leave the home.  You go, is the rationale.  Understand that when one party wants a divorce in the state of Florida, the other party has no choice.  A divorce will be had.  There is no fault in this state.

Aside from the emotional reason, there is the financial one.  I can’t afford two households, is normally the lament.  Get used to it, is the retort.  One does not lose their property rights by merely vacating the premises. 

Lastly is the children. Spouses believe if they move out or away, they lose their chilidren.  This is not true.  The new laws put into place time sharing for both parents.  That is now public policy. 

The surest and quickest way to get a spouse out of the house is, unfortunately, domestic violence.  The police are called, if there are wounds, the wrongdoer is carted away for at least two weeks until there is a hearing. 

If a divorce is already pending in the courts, the easiest way to get a spouse out of the house is by agreed order.  Come to an agreement as to time sharing with the children and finances, and the spouse will go confidently knowing an enforceable contract is in place. 

For more information about this divorce topic or other information, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Do NOT do divorce on your own if…

By Robin Roshkind, West Palm Beach, Florida

In today’s economy, couples are fighting with each other over money, one of the most common causes of divorce.  Some couples will attempt to do a settlement of all their marital issues on their own and without the advice of counsel, in order to save money in attorneys fees.  However, there are certain circumstances where a divorce REQUIRES the skills of an experienced divorce lawyer like those at my Firm, and a spouse would be penny wise and pound foolish to go it alone.

Here are the situations where having a divorce lawyer on your side is A MUST:

1.  Where a spouse is self employed.

2.  Where a spouse works for cash under the table.

3.  Where a spouse hasn’t filed a tax return in years.

4.  Where a spouse is the sole owner of a closely held corporation.

5.  Where there was a business formed by one or the other DURING the marriage, or where there is a spouse working in a family business.

6.  Where the spouse does not know the true net worth.

7.  Where the spouse does not have access to books and records.

8.  Where the spouse has no idea of the assets or debts of the marriage.

9.  Where there are children of the marriage that have special needs.

10.  Where there is a spouse who has drug addiction, gambling addiction, alcholism, shopaholic tendencies, or a paramour.

11.  Where one or the other spouse entered the marriage with assets.

12.  Where there has been an inheritence during the marriage.

13.   Where a spouse has mental health issues like bi polar, anger management problems, domestic violence.

14.  Where a spouse has a criminal record, restraining orders.

15.  Where a spouse cannot be employed or keep steady employment.

16.  Where a spouse is supported by family members.

17.  Where there are numerous real properties, income producing rentals, time shares and vacation homes. 

18.  If the marriage is more than 10 years and there is alimony, permanent alimony, rehabilitative alimony, bridge the gap alimony to be discussed and negotiated.

19.  Where a spouse has another family with children either prior to this marriage or outside of this marriage.

20.  Where paternity is at issue.

21.  Where the spouses are extremely unequal in education or ability to earn, or by measure of individual wealth. 

22.  Where a pre nuptial agreement should be contested.

If ANY of these circumstances apply to you, you should at least consult with an attorney before attempting a divorce on your own.  For more information, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Changing the locks…when is it legal?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Can a husband or wife be thrown out of the marital home?  The answer is “it depends”.  Certainly if there is domestic violence and the police are called, if they arrest one of the spouses, there is a no contact order put in place until a hearing before the court two weeks later.  The alleged perpetrator is immediately removed from the marital home.

If a spouse voluntarily moves out of the marital home, but his/her name is clearly on the deed, or the lease, as the case may be, the remaining spouse under the law cannot change the locks unless the moving spouse has all his/her personal effects and gives permission.  Under this circumstance, it is advisable for the moving spouse to take photos of the contents of the marital home before moving out.

Moving out of a marital residence, in the state of Florida, does not constitute abandonment.  In other words, if a moving spouse has a title interest in the leasehold or fee simple property, he/she does not lose rights by vacating.

In divorce cases, often a temporary relief court order awards a marital residence to one or the other spouse for exclusive use and possession of the marital residence, pending the divorce proceedings.  In that case, and with the court order, the remaining spouse can change the locks.  The moving spouse is allowed access to get personal property from the home, often accompanied by a police officer and by appointment with the remaining spouse.

For more information about changing the locks or other divorce topics, call on one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Are you in an abusive relationship?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

In some bad relationships, the partner has  you convinced that everyone lives this way.  Or that everything wrong in his or her life is your fault.  If  you don’t know any differently, you buy into that after years and years of being told that.  It becomes a way of life.  You become worn down by a controller.  I am a lawyer, not a shrink.  But in my experience, I have seen enough of this, and enough is enough.

Read a book, listen to the celebrity gossip, go to the movies, and  you will see that you are not alone in this situation.  The biggest first step is to be aware.  The next biggest step is to do something about it.

Here are some indicators that should be telling  you that you are being abused:

1.  You rationalize or defend your partner’s behavior.

2.  You blame yourself.

3.  You have no confidence.

4.  You feel like a prisoner in your own home.

5.  You are constantly watched and questioned.

6.  You are isolated from friends and family.

7.  You accept cheating, lying, stealing by your partner.

8.  You are constantly yelled at like a child.

9.  Your partner hits, pushes, or throws things at you.  Or worse.

10.  Your partner destroys your belongings or throws them out in the garbage.

11.  Your partner convinces you of how much you need him/her.

12.  You have lost your love of life, your sense of humor, your spirit.

If you see yourself in any of these scenarios,  get professional help.  If that doesn’t work, get out. 

For more information about abuse or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Your marriage is falling apart…what to do?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is Saturday night…instead of dinner and a movie, your spouse says to you “I am going out, don’t wait up”.   Or you find yourself in sweat pants and disheleved from the day, and you are doing a laundry. 

Or maybe you shipped the kids out to a friend for the night and all your spouse wants to do is watch TV.  Alone.   Or worst case scenario, you end up in a fight.  If any of this happens repeatedly, you have to know that something is wrong in the marriage.

The question is what to do about it… Here is the advice of a divorce attorney who is experienced in these sort of things.

1.  Avoid domestic violence.  If you find yourself in a heated argument, go walk the dog or go visit a friend for an hour.  Just get out of the house for a while to let things cool down.

2.  Realize the marriage is broken.  You have two optionns:  bail or fix it.

3.  Start seeing yourself as an individual.  Perhaps your needs are not being met, whether they are physical or emotional or financial.

4.  Protect yourself.  Have credit cards in your own name;  set up a cell phone account of your own;  get a post office box for your personal mail;  keep a lock on your computer; know at all times where the keys to your car are; remove personal papers and small jewelry from the house.

5.  See a divorce lawyer to learn your rights.  If  you have any inkling that the marriage is in trouble, find out what your rights are under the law and the specific facts of your marriage.

6.  Don’t listen to friends and family.  Every marriage is different.

For more information about this or any other family law related subject, call one of the divorce lawyers at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091  or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.