Going from Married to Single…lots to consider.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The divorce process at best is a tangle of voluminous paper work, keeping emotions in check and taking care of household bills and children.  It can be stressful under the most amicable of circumstances.

But there is much more to consider other than the family finances and medical bills for the kids.  How does one go from being a part of a family unit to being on your own, alone, by yourself, in charge of your own time and money?  It is a HUGE adjustment.  You have to consider the following:

1.  your calendar

2.  your work schedule

3.  what do to in your free time

4.  doing your own banking, taxes, doctor’s visits, travel by yourself

5.  going to the grocery store, JUST FOR YOU

6.  your kids schedule

7.  relationships with family and friends

8.  coming home to an empty house

9.  coming home to a house filled with kids

10.  setting up your own lifestyle, sexual and otherwise

Being alone and in charge can be something many divorced people enjoy and even look forward to.  It just takes a lot of getting used to.  For more information call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Divorce, Children and the Holidays

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

At this time of year, divorced parents often face problems with holiday timesharing of children, even where court orders are in place.   Sometimes children just don’t want to go, or a parent does not want to part with the child.  Unfortunately, courts in South Florida do not see these matters as emergencies, and so the violating parent may get away with the stunt, at least for a time enough to ruin vacation plans of the other parent.  However, eventually,  the violating parent may be held in contempt of court, or worse face a custody battle and risk losing holiday timesharing next time.

The violation is contemptable.  The proof would be that the violating parent had no good legal reason to withhold timesharing of the other parent.  The downside is that the violating parent succeeds, at least this time.  Getting into court quickly to avert the violation is very difficult.  The issue normally has to be dealt with after the fact.  If you have such a complication for the holidays, call one of the attorneys at the Firm asap or click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com for additional help and information.

How To Tell The Kids We Are Getting Divorced

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

You have met with a divorce lawyer.  You have photocopied boxes of documents…everything from tax returns to bank statements to credit card receipts.  You discussed divorce with your spouse.  Now, what about the kids?

Ideally, if the divorce is going to be a collaborative one – that is, an amicable or uncontested divorce – then spouses should share this responsibility of breaking the news to the family.  However, in cases where one spouse has moved out and on, or the divorce is acrimonious, often the task belongs to the custodial parent. 

Below is a check list of what to do and what not to do when telling your school age children about the divorce:

1.  It is important to sit the children down and make it very clear that they are not the problem.  The divorce is not their fault.  Children sometimes think they are the cause and feel terribly responsible for the situation.  Make sure they know it is not their fault.

2.  Tell the children that you are not divorcing them.  Children need to feel secure and loved by both parents.  Especially at this traumatic time.

3.  Don’t disparage the other spouse.  Children identify themselves with both parents.  If something is wrong with one according to the other, they think something is wrong with them.  This causes low self esteem, nightmares and school problems.

4.  Explain what divorce is, and if you can, why the divorce is occurring.  Be sure to explain it is between mommy and daddy.  Also stress that they will always have a mommy and a daddy no matter what.

5.  Children need assurance that they will be safe and that everything is going to be ok.  Explain to them about having two homes and two places to stay, two sets of friends, two beds, two rooms, two birthday parties, etc.  Put the situation in a positive light that youngsters can understand. 

What if one spouse has another newer family and has moved on?  Get your children to counseling.  This may have to be court ordered, but so be it. 

There is a web site to read more about this subject at www.howdoitellthekids.com. For more information about the legalities, consult with the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, PA at 561-835-9091 or visit our web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Children and Florida Divorce…your behavior affects them.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

Children are often the victims of divorce due to the anger between two parents.  They become the pawns in the relationship between divorcing parents; they are caught in the middle and are sometimes left to fend for themselves.

Issues involving children can emcompass the following: 

1. Moving out of state:  One parent wants to prevent the other from a relationship with the child and is determined to move away.   In Florida, the law:  the best interests of the child prevails.   If the move is proven to be in the best interests of the child, the court will allow the relocation. 

2.  Fighting over the child’s time:  Especially when there are teenagers who have their own friends and agenda, kids can’t stand it when they HAVE TO go to one parent or the other instead of to soccer practice.  If it is YOUR time, or your timesharing, be flexible and consider what the child wants.

3.  One upmanship:  Don’t try to “buy” your kids or entice them with more than the other parent.  They will pit the two of you against each other.  Kids are smart and know how to take advantage of the situation.

4.  Children’s clothing, shoes, books, toys:  Kids should have these things at both parents’ homes.  It is not right for a child to have to pack PJs every time they travel between homes.

5.  Messenger service:  Your child is not your messenger between you and the spouse or ex spouse.  This is harmful.

6.  Disparaging one parent to the child:  It is common knowledge that a child sees himself as a combination of the two of you.  Don’t degrade one half of him or her.

7.  Neglect is the worst thing you can do to your child in order to hurt the the child or the other parent.  You are divorcing your spouse, not your child.  Sometimes children are forced to choose sides, and this is not healthy.

For more information about children and divorce, please go to the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com or call today for a consultation with one of our attorneys in West Palm Beach, Florida.   Robin Roshkind, P.A. 561-835-9091.