What is parental alienation syndrome and how can I stop it?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Parental alienation syndrome is where one parent turns the children against the other parent.  Most divorce decrees have a “disparagement” paragraph which forbids each parent from disparaging the other to the children.

Courts recognize that children see themselves as a part of each parent and where there is denegration, it is harmful to the child because the child loses self esteem; he or she also loses respect for the disparaged parent and parenting becomes more difficult.  Judges take this bad behavior seriously and the Florida legislature has even passed a shared parenting statute which forbids disparaging behavior of one parent to the other.

Where evidence and testimony is produced showing a child is harmed by alienating behavior, courts will decide to alter the parent time sharing arrangement.  The court’s job is to protect the child and the best interests of the child.  Limiting time sharing, or requiring supervised time sharing is the response to a parent who alienates the other to the detriment of the child.

For questions about this topic or other divorce topics, call on one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

The Psychological Cycles of Divorce. A helpful guide for your understanding.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Deciding to get married is easy.  Deciding to divorce is a much more difficult exercise.  In the State of Florida, if one spouse seeks a divorce, generally, the other spouse has no say in the matter.

So if you are on the receiving end of “I want a divorce”, here are the cycles that you may go through:

1.  Denial.  You may not yet realize what is happening, or if you do, you have hopes of getting the marriage back on track

2.  Anger.  Once you realize this is for real, you get angry.  How could your spouse do this?

3.  Guilt.  The next step is to think it is something that you have done to ruin the marriage.  You blame yourself for the breakup.

4.  Depression.  You go through a sadness stage.  You may lose or gain weight; have sleepless nights; anxiety attacks; crying bouts; chronic fatigue.

5.  Forgiveness.  You realize what is going to be and you start to forgive your spouse and yourself.

6.  Acceptance.  You are beginning to plan your future.

7.  Recovery.  You are ready to move forward into the future.

There also may be physcial ramifications of each of these stages.  Your immune system may be effected and you may be susceptible to colds.  You may find yourself hyperventilating with an anxiety attack.  You may feel tired all the time.  Overwhelmed with divorce paper work.  You may be unable to focus and concentrate.

You may find yourself forgetful, scattered, confused.

If you find yourself unable to cope with the divorce process, seek professional assistance in a marriage counselor and retain an attorney you have confidence in.  That will take away most of the worry.

For more information about this or other divorce subjects, call one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROB
on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Mental Health Issues in Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are many issues in divorce that can be affected by one or the other spouse’ mental health.  The following is a list where mental health issues can determine and outcome of the case here in Palm Beach County, Florida:

1.  Custody battles.  The job of the court is to determine the best interests of the child/ren.  If a spouse is bi polar, clinically depressed, has anger management problems, eating disorders or suffers from alcohol or drug addicition, chances are likely that the other spouse will get much greater time sharing with the children.  The spouse suffering from mental health issues may get limited or supervised visits.

2.  Alimony.  A non breadwinner spouse with mentalhealth issues may get more in an alimony award for rehabilitation purposes as a special needs spouse. 

3.  Dissipation of marital assets.  A spouse who is a compulsive gambler will be accused of dissipating the marital assets, and as a result, will get a smaller piece of the marital pie in divorce court.

4.  Unfit to parent.  A spouse who abuses prescription medications may be seen by the court as an unfit parent.  Ditto for a spouse who returns the children in a dirty, hungry, neglectful  state. 

5.  Domestic violence.  A spouse who goes into a violent rage, destroying marital or separate property will be awarded less in equitable distribution of property.

Anyone suffering from these mental health afflictions should seek the help of a professional counselor for the benefit of the entire family and for him or her to be able to better cope with divorce and life in general.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com of call for a consultation appointment with one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091.

Domestic violence and abuse in marriage and divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Divorce is seeing the best people at their worst.  Tempers flare, anger raises its ugly head.  Spouses go at each other, forgetting they once, maybe, were in love when they walked down the isle.  A shrink once said “feelings change”.  That is still no excuse for physical or mental abuse of any kind.

If you are the perpetrator, you are probably very sorry after you come to your senses and calm down.  Or worse, find yourself in jail, on probabtion,  or at a mandatory anger management class.  If you are the victim, you are probably very sorry if you provoked such anger or did nothing at all to provoke it. 

In either case, perpetrator or victim, there is sadness, failure, trauma.  You both need psychological counseling immediately, and not together.  More often than not, abuse cycles. 

What is the legal recourse?  First, safety for the victim, the children, the pet.  Then instead of going back into the relationship, get out, via divorce.  Things will not get better.  It could be just a matter of time before they get worse.  I am a lawyer not a psychologist, but I have seen enough in my law practice to say: what went wrong the first time will always and still be wrong.  Even with counseling, your chances are slim to none to put back together what you had before the violence or abuse.  Where there is no respect, there can be no marriage. 

For the victim: don’t be a sitting duck.  Duck out.  For the perpetrator: get counseling and get on with your life.  

For more information about marital abuse and domestic violence click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com or call for a consultation with one of the attorneys at the Firm by calling 561-835-9091.