Divorce and the wedding gifts…who gets what?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I have some clients who just realized they made a mistake.  The marriage is only 3 months old, or one year old, or anything inbetween, making it a short lived experience.  The question becomes who gets what.

In short term marriages, generally there is no entitlement to alimony or attorneys fees, unless a prenuptial agreement says otherwise.    As far as equitable distribution of assets and debts goes, what  you come into the marriage with you go out of the marriage with…unless it is joint property.

Wedding gifts to either party is considered marital or joint property.  However, in short term situations, where the parties can reasonably discuss the fact that they rushed into something and made a mistake, then usually they can agree that the wife’s friends and family gifts go to her and the husband’s friends and family gifts go to him.  If there is something of exceptional value, then one party should “buy out” the other.  Another way to divide the wedding gifts, yet more difficult,  is by value.  Ideally, the two parties should come out with relatively the same amount of value.

Another topic in divorce is who pays for the wedding?  If one party paid for the wedding, that is seen as a voluntary act, pre marital.  If, by agreement, the parties can split the costs,  the marital settlement agreement should indicate that. 

For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Are we monagamous?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am not the first person to raise the question as to whether or not human beings are meant to be monagamous. Debate has raged through the ages.  However, in the State of Florida, there are no legal punishments for not being monagamous other than two exceptions:  if the “wrongdoer” is spending substantial amounts of money on the sex partner outside of the marriage, which raises a disspation of marital assets issue in divorce court, or if the children somehow are being harmed by the affair, which goes to a best interest of the child issue in a custody battle. 

Courts and judges do not micro manage personal lives.  So if you find yourself in a position where your spouse has not “foresaken all others” in a marriage vow, and you declare the marriage irretrievably broken, your recourse is divorce court. 

For more information about this divorce topic or others, call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Your marriage is falling apart…what to do?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is Saturday night…instead of dinner and a movie, your spouse says to you “I am going out, don’t wait up”.   Or you find yourself in sweat pants and disheleved from the day, and you are doing a laundry. 

Or maybe you shipped the kids out to a friend for the night and all your spouse wants to do is watch TV.  Alone.   Or worst case scenario, you end up in a fight.  If any of this happens repeatedly, you have to know that something is wrong in the marriage.

The question is what to do about it… Here is the advice of a divorce attorney who is experienced in these sort of things.

1.  Avoid domestic violence.  If you find yourself in a heated argument, go walk the dog or go visit a friend for an hour.  Just get out of the house for a while to let things cool down.

2.  Realize the marriage is broken.  You have two optionns:  bail or fix it.

3.  Start seeing yourself as an individual.  Perhaps your needs are not being met, whether they are physical or emotional or financial.

4.  Protect yourself.  Have credit cards in your own name;  set up a cell phone account of your own;  get a post office box for your personal mail;  keep a lock on your computer; know at all times where the keys to your car are; remove personal papers and small jewelry from the house.

5.  See a divorce lawyer to learn your rights.  If  you have any inkling that the marriage is in trouble, find out what your rights are under the law and the specific facts of your marriage.

6.  Don’t listen to friends and family.  Every marriage is different.

For more information about this or any other family law related subject, call one of the divorce lawyers at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091  or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What makes a good marriage?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Although I practice divorce law and see awful marriages all day long, I am no expert when it comes to what makes for a good marriage.   But, as we all do, I have my theory, which I would like to share.

Marriages break up due to sex, (too much, too little, inside the marriage, outside the marriage) or money (not enough, or too much to fight over). 

So assuming a couple has a satisfying sexual relationship, and lives within their means, what else makes a good marriage IN MY OPINION is as follows:

Friendship.   If you are not best friends, you do not have a good marriage.

Respect.  If there is no respect, there is no good marriage.

Honesty.  If there are major secrets, you do not have a good marriage.

Kindness.  Without kindness, you do not have a good marriage.

And the biggie:  Communication.  Without good communication, you cannot have any of the above.

So what to do now?  If your marriage is broken, you have two choices:

fix it or abandon it.

You may need marriage counseling to fix it…or a financial advisor.  You both have to want to fix it.  It only takes one of you in the state of Florida to abandon it.

To divorce or not to divorce is a very personal decision.  For more information about your rights and options, call one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com.

Bad Marriage? What to do about it…

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If you are living the nightmare of a bad marriage, day in, day out, you might feel at a loss as to what to do to improve your life’s situation.   This can have a freezing effect so you become numb.  It can also have the effect of causing you to feel lifeless, hopeless and depressed. 

You have two choices:  you either get help to work on fixing the broken marriage, or you bail out.   But before you can make the decision to remove yourself from the marriage, seek legal advice.  An informed decision is a wise decision.  With additional knowledge as to your rights, obligations, and options, you will feel better about your course of action. 

For answers to your questions, call the law office of Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com.

Domestic violence and abuse in marriage and divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Divorce is seeing the best people at their worst.  Tempers flare, anger raises its ugly head.  Spouses go at each other, forgetting they once, maybe, were in love when they walked down the isle.  A shrink once said “feelings change”.  That is still no excuse for physical or mental abuse of any kind.

If you are the perpetrator, you are probably very sorry after you come to your senses and calm down.  Or worse, find yourself in jail, on probabtion,  or at a mandatory anger management class.  If you are the victim, you are probably very sorry if you provoked such anger or did nothing at all to provoke it. 

In either case, perpetrator or victim, there is sadness, failure, trauma.  You both need psychological counseling immediately, and not together.  More often than not, abuse cycles. 

What is the legal recourse?  First, safety for the victim, the children, the pet.  Then instead of going back into the relationship, get out, via divorce.  Things will not get better.  It could be just a matter of time before they get worse.  I am a lawyer not a psychologist, but I have seen enough in my law practice to say: what went wrong the first time will always and still be wrong.  Even with counseling, your chances are slim to none to put back together what you had before the violence or abuse.  Where there is no respect, there can be no marriage. 

For the victim: don’t be a sitting duck.  Duck out.  For the perpetrator: get counseling and get on with your life.  

For more information about marital abuse and domestic violence click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com or call for a consultation with one of the attorneys at the Firm by calling 561-835-9091.

Wedding plans? Don’t forget the legalities.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

Congratulations!  You’re engaged.  After the adrenaline rush quiets down, it’s time to start planning your wedding.   But what about your legal future?  Men AND women need to follow my free legal advice: the first thing to do is TAKE STOCK OF YOUR OWN ASSETS AND DEBTS…MAKE A LIST.  Should the marriage fail down the road, you want to exit with all the stuff you entered with.  This includes your piano, your coin collection, real estate, or real estate values, retirement accounts, stocks and bond accounts, your grandmother’s sterling silver.  Very often in divorce in Florida, the wedding day starts the time tolling and the filing for divorce date stops it. 

For example, in Florida, if you have an IRA account that has $50,000 in it on the wedding day, and the marriage lasts five years, and during that time the account appreciated $10,000, your spouse may be entitled to one half of the appreciated value from the date of the wedding to the date of any filing for divorce.  Valuations of businesses, investments, real estate are also figured from the date of the wedding to the date of filing for divorce.  These dates are critical and can make a big difference in a spouse’s entitlement of assets in a divorce situation.

If this is a first time marriage and you have substantial assets, or if this is subsequent marriage and there are assets and children, then the second thing to do is to HIRE A LAWYER FOR A PRENUPTIAL AGREEMENT.  In Palm Beach County, attorneys fees run around $5,000 to $15,000 for a prenup retainer, but it is more than worth it.  This is no time to be penny wise and pound foolish.  A prenuptial agreement will provide divorce terms and death terms should the marriage fail or stay in tact.  This is especially important to protect children from a former marriage. 

The third thing to do is CHECK YOUR CREDIT.  Keep some credit cards and car loans in your own good name. 

DON’T COMMINGLE YOUR INHERITENCE.  If you have funds left to you in a will or trust, don’t use those funds for marital purpose.  Also, don’t put them in joint names.  If you do, and the marriage fails, your spouse may lay claim to a one half interest. 

DON’T CHANGE YOUR WILL to include your spouse if you have a prenuptial agreement.  You need to coordinate the prenup with estate planning documents.  A prenup is not a will.  Consult an attorney who knows about these things. 

In conclusion, planning a wedding may be the fun part, but don’t ignore your legal future.  Give yourself the most important wedding gift of all, peace of mind.

For additional information, please call my law firm, Robin Roshkind, P.A., for a consultation (561-835-9091) or visit the firm’s website at www.familylawwpb.com.

What is a post-nuptial agreement and why do you need one?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

With all the second and third marriages taking place, most couples appreciate the need for parameters that lay out the foundation of divorce should a marriage fail.  Where prenuptial agreements set forth those terms, post-nuptial agreements serve a different purpose.  Post-nuptial agreements are signed AFTER the marriage takes place.  It may even be years after the wedding day.

Perhaps the most important reason to have a post-nuptial agreement in place is for the husband and wife to reaffirm the prenuptial agreement.  This adds an extra layer of protection, should one or the other spouse challenge the validity of the prenuptial agreement years later. 

Secondly, a post-nuptial agreement can change what the prenuptial agreement says, either by being more or less generous to a spouse or by redirectgin assets to children.  These agreements also deal with present day changes in the marriage.  For example, if a spouse gets caught cheating, a post-nuptial agreement can lay forth what financial “punishment” will take place if the spouse gets caught a second time. 

The obvious problem with post-nuptial agreements is getting the already married spouse to sign them.  It would have to be something both husband and wife want to do to keep the marriage in tact.  Both parties should seek independent legal advice before signing anything.

I practice family law in Palm Beach County, Florida.  For more information about these agreements, please call my law firm, Robin Roshkind, P.A., for a consultation (561-835-9091) or visit the firm’s website at www.familylawwpb.com.

The importance of having a prenuptial agreement prior to the wedding

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

Many people do not like to think of the “legalities of love”, because it seems unromantic and offensive.  But for those couples getting married a second or third time, prenuptial agreements are a must, if either or both parties have assets and/or children.  Prenuptial agreements do not take effect until the walk down the aisle.  But they must be negotiated, witnessed, and executed, AT LEAST 30 DAYS PRIOR to the wedding to be valid and enforceable.  Each party must sign the prenuptial agreement with full understanding of its ramifications, without duress, over reaching or fraud, and with the intent to be bound.  It is a good idea for both parties to have independent legal counsel as well as tax advice.

Prenuptial agreements deal with what happens to the parties, their property and children’s assets in the event of a divorce, as well as a death.  Property and cash awards can be based upon the length of and contribution to the marriage, while death provisions MUST be accompanied by estate planning documents, the least being a will or a trust. 

Because each case is different, it is important to know what you are doing when you sign a prenuptial agreement.  For more information about my firm and about prenuptial agreements, please call my law firm, Robin Roshkind, P.A., for a consultation (561-835-9091) or visit the firm’s website at www.familylawwpb.com.