Marital Problems get worse around the holidays.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Around holiday time, things get tough enough with stress levels increasing for everyone.  If a marriage is already in trouble, these holiday external forces usually make matters worse.  Read the list below and you may see yourself here.

1.  BLENDED FAMILIES.  Where there are children from several former spouses, it is difficult to even plan a holiday meal where everyone can be together. 

2.  DEADLINES TO MEET.  Christmas and Hanukah fall on specific dates.  Presents have to be ready when the time comes, which means shopping and wrapping has to be done on time and is often rushed.

3.  MONEY IS TIGHT.  Especially in these troubled times with the economy being what it is, and some of us even being jobless into the new year. 

4.  FIGHTING OVER HOW MUCH TO SPEND or what bills to pay or not pay. Everyone has an opinion and this causes marital friction.

5.  DIFFICULT EXs.  Put the kid on the plane……..or not. 

6.  NOT IN THE MOOD.  Too stresssed for sex.

7.  ADDICTION AND CELEBRATION.  No champagne for alcoholic or drug users.  Or DUIs for those that imbibe.

8.  COMING HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS.  Everyone knows the stress of travel whether it is on a plane, train, or auto.

9.  STAYING TOGETHER DURING THE HOLIDAYS FOR THE SAKE OF THE KIDS.  Many couples stick it out until January.  

10.  SHOULD YOU OR SHOULDN’T YOU?  There is a way out.  For marriages that can’t outlive the pressure, the way out is separation and divorce.  Consult your local shrink, then call us.

For more information, click on our website at www.familylawwpb.com or consult with one of the attorneys at Robin Roshkind, P.A. by calling 561-835-9091.

Sex and money and marriage… Do something about it to save a failing marriage.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Marriages break up mainly because of two reasons:  sex and money.  Let’s discuss these one at a time. 

Either there is too much sex outside the marriage, and/or not enough sex within the marriage.  Marriages can be of the roommate kind as in a roommate marriage with your best friend, a sham marriage (simply a business deal for say immigration purposes or money), sexless marriages that are true marriages in every way except in the bedroom, or open marriages which encompasses sex in and out of the marriage bed.   Sex outside the marriage falls into several categories:  an affair with someone other than your spouse; multiple sex partners, sex addiciton, pornography;  sex chat rooms, use of prostitutes and escort services.  However it happens, one of the spouses is getting it, and the other is not.  The result?  Both spouses are not happy within the marriage.

Regarding money issues, it is obvious that in today’s economic climate, everyone, even the rich, have money problems.  Marital discussions lead to disagreements which lead to arguments which lead to contempt, disrespect, even sometimes domestic violence.  Some marital issues involve paying the bills, keeping or selling the marital home, cancelling the credit cards, taking out a survival loan, getting a job, moving out of state to get a better job, selling a car, the list is endless. 

How to resolve marital problems that are causing stress and sleepless nights?  First, I tell clients who need it to seek professional help.  Either go to marriage counseling with a psychologist or get medication with a psychiatrist.  For stress, coping skills, and anger management there are classes available to take and books you and your spouse can read.  For more serious ailments like bi polar disorder or depression, a medical doctor can prescribe drugs to control these illnesses.  Alcohol and drug abuse or addiction can also cause a marriage to fail.  There are treatment centers for both. 

The point is if your marriage is breaking or broken do something!  Get immediate help.  Then if all else fails, the ultimate recourse is a divorce for your own survival.  For more information click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com or call for a consultation with one of our attorneys at 561-835-9091.