Can’t Decide to Get Divorced?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire

If you can’t decide to get divorced, the first thing you should do is take stock of your life.  Make a list of what makes you happy and what upsets you about your husband or wife.  Next, make an appointment with a marriage and family therapist or marriage counselor and take that list with you for your appointment.

Then consult with a divorce lawyer so you can get some idea of what you will experience during the divorce process, what your rights are, and how this potentially can play out.

It is only with lots of information and education, can you make an informed decision.  Don’t worry about changing your mind a hundred times.  That is part of the natural progression.  For more information consult with the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Should you rush to settle or hold out for more?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

As with any type of negotiation, timing is everything.  In the State of Florida, all parties to a divorce have to attend mediation, which is a setting promoting settlement of the disputed issues in the divorce.  The question becomes whether or not to settle. 

The answer is, it depends.  Mostly on your mindset and your circumstances.   Ask yourself the following:

1.  Am I ready to move on.

2.  Can I manage with what is negotited and on the table.

3.  Has there been full financial disclosure and if not, do I care.

4.  How are the kids doing?

5.  Can I take the stress of a trial.

6. Do I have sufficient funds to support litigation.

While each case is different, there may be other considerations as well.  These include the health of the parties, age, incomes, extended families, is another marriage imminent, and other such considerations.  For more information about your rights, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Deciding to Divorce…things to consider.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Deciding to divorce is like deciding to get married…it is life changing.  Below are several issues to think about while you see how this weekend goes with your husband or wife:

1.  The kids.  Some people stay together for the sake of the kids.  Some people get divorced for the sake of the kids.  The question is should you limit exposure of your kids to your spouse.

2.  The finances.  Divorce used to be for the rich and famous.  It is going back to that.   Divorce lawyers are expensive, and so is the divorce.

3.  Mindset.  Can the husband and wife have an amicable divorce or is it going to be like the movie, War of the Roses.

4.  Relocation.  Do you want to stay where you are or relocate and move on.

5.  Sex.  Are you getting any?

6.  Violence.  If there is abuse of any kind, get out.  People don’t change.

7.  In laws.  You can divorce them too.

Of course this is a simplified list, and every case is different.  To learn more about your rights in divorce court, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Going from Married to Single…lots to consider.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The divorce process at best is a tangle of voluminous paper work, keeping emotions in check and taking care of household bills and children.  It can be stressful under the most amicable of circumstances.

But there is much more to consider other than the family finances and medical bills for the kids.  How does one go from being a part of a family unit to being on your own, alone, by yourself, in charge of your own time and money?  It is a HUGE adjustment.  You have to consider the following:

1.  your calendar

2.  your work schedule

3.  what do to in your free time

4.  doing your own banking, taxes, doctor’s visits, travel by yourself

5.  going to the grocery store, JUST FOR YOU

6.  your kids schedule

7.  relationships with family and friends

8.  coming home to an empty house

9.  coming home to a house filled with kids

10.  setting up your own lifestyle, sexual and otherwise

Being alone and in charge can be something many divorced people enjoy and even look forward to.  It just takes a lot of getting used to.  For more information call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What “Causes” Divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Many married couples go along not realizing how a relationship can deteriorate into a bad situation.  Then when their partner mentions divorce, they are completely taken by surprise.

The list is a short one as to the main causes for divorce: sex, money, power.

Take sex first…either there is not enough sex in the marriage, or no sex, or sex outside the marriage.  Affairs, adultery, cheating, broken loyalty and broken trust is the result.  Irreconcilable differences arise.

Re: money, financial strain on the marriage causes arguing as to what bills go unpaid, foreclosure of the marital home, loss of job or income, laziness to find work, mounting expenses… all are ripe grounds for discontent, dispute and divorce.

Then comes power, which can result in controlling behavior of one over the other.  Verbal or physical abuse, domestic violence claims, criminal behavior of stealing a spouse’ personal property (like jewelry or tools), is the result.

Other causes of divorce include mental health problems, issues with in laws or extended families, children of another marriage, drug or alcohol use. While each case is different, if you see yourself in any of the above scenarios, consult with a divorce lawyer immediately to protect your rights.   Call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What to do if you do not want a divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

In the state of Florida, if one spouse files for divorce, the other spouse does not have a choice in the matter…a divorce is imminent.  However, if one spouse wants a divorce and the other does not, there are certain actions to take PRIOR TO your spouse filing for divorce.

!.  Trial separation.  Often “time off” gives both spouses a chance to see what it is like and to think about living separate and apart.  You both may decide this is not a good idea.

2.  Marriage counseling.  This can be combined with a separation to see if it is really what the divorcing spouse wants.  Sometimes marriage counselors help couples work through their differences and reconciliation is the result.

3.  Confide in family and friends.  Sometimes they can “talk” to the spouse who wants out of the marriage.

4.  Try a new job or new location.  Moving into a new setting for the marriage may take the pressure off. 

5.  If all else fails, think back to the time when you first got married.  Try together to re instate the situation or circumstances that brought you together in the first place.

Barring a reconciliation, if a spouse decides to seek a divorce, the handwriting is on the wall.  Protect  yourself by seeking legal counsel.

For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Older divorcing couples have special concerns.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Health issues, social security, retirement, loss of income,  insurance issues,  medicare, and house issues all effect the older divorcing couple in a different way than that of younger marrieds.

I have done divorce cases of octogenarians, and with the advent of viagra and its progeny, we divorce lawyers are seeing more and more of these types of cases involving long term marriages of the elderly.  Couples who have accumulated assets, properties, children and a history together require a special type of lawyer who understands the hopefulness of the party wanting the divorce, and the hopelessness of the spouse who does not.  

Mental deficiency is often blamed for the spouse who wants out.  A lawyer must ascertain that the divorcing party (as well as the other spouse) has the capacity to understand the ramifications of the divorce.   Oftentimes, adult children are involved, and where there are blended families, this too can get complicated, because everybody has an opinion.

For more information about older divorcing couples, please call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Divorce party…is it appropriate?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

All through the divorce process, everyone has an opinion:  your mother, your baby sitter, the neighbor next door, etc., etc.  Many times, whether you are the husband or the wife, you have support from family and friends through the long, tedius, unappetizing process of divorce.

So now the divorce is final.  It may be time to stop talking about it.  For those who have “suffered” through it with you, it might be appropriate to have a small intimate luncheon, or drinks after work, thanking them for their support. 

Your friends are your friends, but they don’t want to hear it anymore.  Reward them for their support with a low key divorce “party” so they can help you turn the page toward a new life as a single.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the lawyers at the law office of ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Telling your friends about your divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You have decided to get a divorce.  You even hired a divorce lawyer and the papers are filed.  Perhaps even one or the other partner has moved from the marital home.  How to do tell your friends you are getting a divorce?

The answer lies in the fact of whether or not you are happy about it.  If you want the divorce, you are forthright.  If you don’t want the divorce, perhaps you are embarrassed about the “failure” of the marriage.  Or hopeful things can be put back together.  In the state of Florida, where one partner wants a divorce and the other does not, a divorce is imminent.

Divorce is never a pleasant situation.  But sometimes, the person is better for it as a result of the divorce.  Gloating just doesn’t seem appropriate, however, especially where there are children involved. 

In telling friends and family about your plans to divorce, just be sensitive to other people’s perspectives.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call on one of the attorneys at the law office of ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Your rights in divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Husbands and wives (and children, too) have certain protected rights in divorce matters.  For example, children have the right to a relationship with both parents unless a relationship is detrimental to the child in some way (physical abuse for example).   Both parents can fight for major timesharing with children.  Husbands and wives have the right to investigate if substantial marital monies are being dissipated or wasted by the other party.   The point is that there are many rights that are protected under family law.

The issue is not to confuse RIGHTS with prevailing at trial.  For example, a party may have the right to litigate an issue, but that does not mean that he/she will win on that point.   

Bringing a disputed issue before the judge is a right.  Whether or not you will win, is another matter.  A win will be determined by the evidence presented, and the testimony.  It is important to keep in mind that judges in family court use their discretion and subjective opinions and impressions of the parties, along with the application of family law.  So if you find you are going to trial, it is best to be represented by counsel.

For more information about your rights in divorce court, consult with one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.