Exposing children to YOUR new relationship.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The flip side of exposing children to your STBX’s new boyfriend/girlfriend, is exposing children to YOUR new relationship.  How do you go about this tactfully, with care and sensitivity so the children feel comfortable?

Do it slowly.  Tell your children about this new person in your life; that they will never take the place of the other parent; but that this person is good to you, good for you, etc.  Set the tone so the children are accepting on their own.

Be aware, if this new person in your life is a low life, or treats the children badly, you can bank on having trouble from your spouse or ex spouse, and rightfully so.  Children need protection and if you have poor judgment, the court will protect them for you.  For more information about your rights or other questions, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Exposing children to your STBX’s boyfriend/girlfriend.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Your soon to be ex now has another relationship.  He/she has moved out and on,  leaving you with the bag of problems and challenges.  You realize you are (pick one:) angry, bitter, vindictive, hurt, and want to get even.  You are dealing with your own emotional and financial problems of paying bills, holding onto your job, raising the children, etc. and you are overwhelmed.

Now he/she brings another person into the equation…the girlfriend/boyfriend.  Your children are exposed.  What to do?  If the other person is an upstanding human being, and is nice to your kids, be grateful.  If the other person is a felon, drug dealer, abuser, or generally not a good role model, go for major timesharing, right of first refusal, or in extreme cases, sole custody. 

The court’s job is to protect children.  Do what you can under the law to accomplish this.  For more information call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Can you date during divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West palm Beach, Florida

The divorce papers are filed.  You are even living separately.  But you are still married.  Can you date, start a new relationship, have sex while the divorce is pending?

The answer depends upon which state you live in.  Marriage laws, adultery laws, palimony laws are state specific.  I am licensed to practice law in Florida, so I can only address the laws of the State of Florida.

In Florida,  once divorce papers are filed, and even before, yes you can…date, have sex, be involved.  Florida is a no fault state.  If your spouse feels “cheated on” the legal recourse is divorce.  No questions asked.  But here is the danger:  If you do anything in front of the children which will detrimentally harm them, you might suffer the consequences of less time sharing with your children. 

Children are having a hard enough time going back and forth between separated parents.  Don’t add to their anguish by bringing another person into their lives.  They are still loyal to the other parent and oftentimes have not gotten “used to” the new arrangement.   You may be involved with a new significant other, but it is difficult for children to share your joy, at least at the beginning of the break up of the marriage.  So be sensitive to children and other close family members when deciding to date and form new relationships.

For more information about divorce, dating, and the process, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Are we monagamous?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I am not the first person to raise the question as to whether or not human beings are meant to be monagamous. Debate has raged through the ages.  However, in the State of Florida, there are no legal punishments for not being monagamous other than two exceptions:  if the “wrongdoer” is spending substantial amounts of money on the sex partner outside of the marriage, which raises a disspation of marital assets issue in divorce court, or if the children somehow are being harmed by the affair, which goes to a best interest of the child issue in a custody battle. 

Courts and judges do not micro manage personal lives.  So if you find yourself in a position where your spouse has not “foresaken all others” in a marriage vow, and you declare the marriage irretrievably broken, your recourse is divorce court. 

For more information about this divorce topic or others, call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Adultery, infidelity, extra marital affairs…today there are lots of opportunities.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

When women started to infiltrate the workplace in great numbers back in the 60s and 70s, sex outside the marriage took a huge leap.   Today, there are emerging trends that are firing up the cause of many divorces once again.

We keep hearing the words “emotional affairs”, “girlfriend experience”, or “it’s just lunch”.  Internet relationships are booming, to the detriment of wives and husbands too.  Yes, women are having affairs now at much larger statistics than ever. 

Cheating spouses can be found on airplanes, golf courses, offices, coffee shops, banks, department stores.  Web sites are voluminous from Ashley Madison to Match.com.  So, what can a spouse do?

You have two choices:  preserve the marriage or get out.  Some spouses  “look the other way”; some apologize and never let it happen again.   Others want to “get even” by divorcing and moving on. 

Whatever choice you make, it helps to have professional guidance.  Marriage counselors, and in some extreme cases, psychiatrists, can help with the decision to stay in the marriage or to divorce.  If you are on the receiving end of a cheating spouse, and need more information, call one of the attorneys at the Firm at 561-835-9091 or click on the ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. web site at www.familylawwpb.com for more information.

Sex and the single mother, single father.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Under new laws in the State of Florida, “custody” of children has become “timesharing”.  The standard in Palm Beach County is still 38% , usually to the Former Husband, and 62% timesharing to the Former Wife, unless two things occur: either the parties come up with some other arrangement that they agree to, or the judge orders additional timesharing to the Former Husband, in which case he gets a mandatory reduction from the guidelines in his child support obligations. 

With the timesharing arrangement of the children, comes lots of free time for the parent who is not “on duty”.    What are the legal ramifications of a divorced parent who finds herself or himself in another real relationship?  Here is a list of considerations:

1.  Be careful to not be too frisky in front of the children.  This is a private matter and should stay that way.

2.  A parent is still a parent.  A new girlfriend is not the child’s mother, nor is a new boyfriend the child’s father. 

3.  Don’t bring another person around the children too soon after the divorce.  Children are still adjusting and depending upon the child, may need some time.

4.  If and when you do bring another person around the children, don’t do it at the child’s expense.  The children still deserve a parent’s attention during timesharing.

5.  Take your timesharing with your child seriously.  Don’t start using babysitters more than ever because you now have a relationship.

6.  Don’t booze it up in front of your children.

7.  Always remember, young children generally want their parents to get back together.  Proceed with that in mind.

For more information call one of the attorneys at Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on our website at www.familylawwpb.com.

Sex, Adultery, Divorce, and the Law

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

With economic strains on a marriage, a common response is to seek comfort in the arms of a lover.  And it is not always the husband who strays!  If you find your marriage failing, and you’ve tried counseling to no avail, you may decide that a divorce is imminent.  How does the extramarital affair play into the terms of your legal divorce.

In the state of Florida, it doesn’t.  Florida is a no fault state.  You only need Florida residency for 6 months and to declare in your opinion that the marriage is irretrieveably broken in order to get a divorce.  If one spouse wants the divorce, the other spouse has no say in the matter, and a divorce will be granted.

Back to the extra marital affair…there are two exceptions where adultery would have any impact on the divorce.  If children are detrimentally being harmed in some way, (i.e. sex with the paramour in front of the children, or kids being forced to call a girlfriend “Mommy”), or if the spouse is spending SUBSTANTIAL amounts of marital funds on the paramour (i.e. if a husband purchases a condo for a girlfriend with his income from his job).  

In the first case regarding the children, the recourse under the law is supervised or shortened visitation, and custody to the other spouse.  In the second case, an accounting of all the monies spent on the paramour, results in equitable distribution credits or dollars awarded back to the financially injured spouse. 

Unlike other states, for example, New York, where adultery is “grounds” for divorce, and “punishable” in divorce court, Florida does not have such laws.  For more information, click on the Robin Roshkind, P.A. website at www.familylawwpb.com or consult with one of the attorneys at the Firm by calling 561-835-9091.