What is reconciliation?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If you have already filed for divorce, and then you change your mind,  you might be able to ”reconcile” with your spouse to stay married.  Changing your mind may result from marriage counseling, or learning from your lawyer what the ramifications of divorce will be, whether financial hardship or something involving the children.   

 If you change your mind, there are two ways to stop the divorce proceedings.   You can file a motion to abate the proceedings pending reconciliation to see if it will work, or pending marriage counseling, or for a short time certain such as 3 months.  Or, if you are certain you do not wish to go through with the divorce, you can voluntarily dismiss your petition for dissolution of marriage. 

Keep in mind that just because you change your mind, this does not mean that your spouse is in agreement.  If he/she has filed a counter petition to your divorce petition, he/she may still want to proceed and then you have no choice but to get divorced.   For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Can’t Decide to Get Divorced?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire

If you can’t decide to get divorced, the first thing you should do is take stock of your life.  Make a list of what makes you happy and what upsets you about your husband or wife.  Next, make an appointment with a marriage and family therapist or marriage counselor and take that list with you for your appointment.

Then consult with a divorce lawyer so you can get some idea of what you will experience during the divorce process, what your rights are, and how this potentially can play out.

It is only with lots of information and education, can you make an informed decision.  Don’t worry about changing your mind a hundred times.  That is part of the natural progression.  For more information consult with the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Deciding to Divorce…things to consider.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Deciding to divorce is like deciding to get married…it is life changing.  Below are several issues to think about while you see how this weekend goes with your husband or wife:

1.  The kids.  Some people stay together for the sake of the kids.  Some people get divorced for the sake of the kids.  The question is should you limit exposure of your kids to your spouse.

2.  The finances.  Divorce used to be for the rich and famous.  It is going back to that.   Divorce lawyers are expensive, and so is the divorce.

3.  Mindset.  Can the husband and wife have an amicable divorce or is it going to be like the movie, War of the Roses.

4.  Relocation.  Do you want to stay where you are or relocate and move on.

5.  Sex.  Are you getting any?

6.  Violence.  If there is abuse of any kind, get out.  People don’t change.

7.  In laws.  You can divorce them too.

Of course this is a simplified list, and every case is different.  To learn more about your rights in divorce court, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

How to determine if you should divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Getting married is easy.  Divorce may not be.  So in order to evaluate whether or not to divorce here are some things to consider:

1.  Where you are going to live if you leave the marital home.  Same neighborhood, same state?

2.  Why you are leaving the marriage.  Abuse, money issues, in laws?

3.  Do you have a support network of friends and relatives.  Someone to talk to with problems and stress related issues.

4.  Do you need professional help.  Perhaps a marriage or family counselor.

5.  Do you know the family finances.  You will be required to fill out voluminous financial documents.

6.  How you will pay for a divorce lawyer.  Do  you have savings, assets to sell, or a family member who will help you.

7.  What are the laws in your state.  Have some basic knowledge.

8.  Lastly, can the marriage be saved. 

If you need help with evaluating whether or not to divorce, speak to one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Is it worth getting divorced in this economy?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It depends upon who you ask.  With marital assets devalued, such as the marital home, the  spouse who buys out the other spouse of his/her share of the marital estate is getting a bargain.  The payor gets the bargain and the payee gets less than normal.   Spitting securities accounts costs the payor less because the value is lower than say a year ago or a year from now.   There may be less alimony to pay because bonuses are down or non existant.    But if you are the payee, it might be better to wait until the economy improves to file for divorce.

Another thing to consider is are you at the end of your rope?  Do you want out at any cost?  Do you have another relationship you want to move into?  Are your children being detrimentally harmed by the current relationship?  There are so many ways to evaluate whether or not to file for divorce, that only you can determine that.

If you need help in figuring it out, consult with a professional therapist.   Then visit the divorce lawyer to learn about your rights and options.

For more information call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Staying together for the sake of the kids…is it worth it?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Back in the fifties and sixties, divorce was not as prevalent as it is today.  Divorce laws were tougher and it was mostly the domain of celebrities.  However, many couples raising baby boomers wanted to stay together for the sake of the children in order to remain respectful in the community and to maintain an in tact family.

Psychologists and “having a shrink” became vogue in the late seventies and eighties, and since then, dramatically changed their opinions about divorce and domestic violence, as the women’s movement took hold.

Today, if you ask therapists about staying together merely for the sake of the children, most would generally advise not to do that.  The reason:  in a home where a divorce should occur, staying together creates an unhealthy environment in which to raise children.  There are several reasons:

The children learn abuse, verbal and  physical.  They learn disrespect, not love.  They see fighting and arguing among adults.  They blame themselves for their parents’ malfunctions.  They act out in school.  They develop problems interacting with others.  The list can go on and on.

If you are in a situation that requires a divorce but you are not sure what to do, consult with a marriage counselor.  Then see a divorce lawyer to protect  your rights.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Tips if you are planning to file for divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

There are certain things to do if you are planning to file for divorce.  Below is a suggested list of how to prepare:

1.  Organize your financial papers and photocopy everything. 

2.  Bring them to your divorce lawyer so they are out of the house.

3.  Remove small items that are important to you like jewelry.

4.  Make a plan for the children.

5.  Discuss service of papers with your spouse or if that is not possible arrange to be out of the house when he/she is served.

6.  Photograph paintings, antiques, piano or other home furnishings of value.  Deliver the photos to your divorce lawyer for safekeeping.

7.  Arrange for a post office box or a friend to receive your confidential mail.

8.  Set up a separate bank account.

9.  Get a credit card in your own name if you don’t already have one.

10.  Get support from friends and family, or see a therapist. It will make the process easier.

For more information about this or other divorce topics, consult with one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Making the decision to divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

It is a lot easier to decide to marry than it is to decide to divorce.  Now, there may be children involved, assets, debts, marital problems, even threats and domestic violence.

The best advice I can give to anyone who is even thinking about divorce, is to consult with a marriage counselor.  A therapist /psychologist is trained to help you analyze your situation from an emotional standpoint.  Are you strong enough to take on the stress of even an amicable divorce?  If not, you may have to work on that for a couple of months before proceeding to the divorce lawyer. 

Once you have come to the conclusion that divorce is your only option, a consultation with a divorce lawyer may make you feel better about having a specific plan in place to protect yourself, physically, emotionally, and financially.  You don’t have to continue to live in a disruptive situation.  You do have options and there is lots of hope for a brighter future.

For more information consult with one of the attorneys at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

DIVORCE: I want to be single again!

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

There are two primary reasons why marriages fail.  Sex or money or both.  In today’s troubled economy, both are cause for marital trauma.  This article is about the psychology of divorce and its legal implications; obviously both are very much intertwined.

It’s no secret that relationships are stressed.  With couples of all income levels having money problems, from Wall Street to Main Street, there is much to argue about.  And when the relationship is stressed, oftentimes spouses look outside the marriage for comfort.  In divorce cases, where a paramour is involved, this brings forth a whole host of legal issues including:

 1.  detriment to the children 

 2.  dissipation of marital assets 

 3.  jealousy and vindictiveness, and the desire to “get even”.

This causes more acrimony and less chance for an amicable legal settlement.

With retirement accounts dwindling by the minute, investment income faltering, taxes and daily living expenses on the rise, home prices at bargain basement values with huge mortgages, and still not selling, couples are concerned about how they are going to make it through.  Many jump ship before it sinks.  The big point here is that in certain cases, THAT IS JUSTIFIABLE. 

For example, if a spouse is a bad money manager and argues every step of the way, you ask yourself, WHO NEEDS IT?   Or in the case of a shopaholic, who “just can’t help it”, in today’s times, who needs to support that?   Especially if the love has died.  Or the sex.  How many of you out there in cyberland have not had sex with your spouse in years?  I see this often in my practice and it is more common that you might think.

Divorce is never a pleasant experience even under the best of circumstances.  But in today’s economy, it might be better to be single again.  Only you can decide that for yourself.  For more information go to the Robin Roshkind, P.A. web site at www.familylawwpb.com or call for a consultation with one of our attorneys at 561-835-9091.

When Do I Tell My Spouse I Want A Divorce?

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire – West Palm Beach, Florida

I often get this question at the initial consultation with a client.  My answer does not depend upon whether the client believes the case will settle or go to trial.  My answer depends upon the circumstances of the marriage and current relationship of the parties.

1.   If the parties are still living under the same roof:  

I advise my client to not say a word about divorce until he or she can photocopy as much evidence of the marriage as possible.  This includes bank statements, credit card statements, tax returns, mortgages, deeds, loan applications, loan documents, promissory notes, car titles,  income statements, pay stubs, health insurance policies, life insurance policies, medical bills, brokerage accounts, and any other documents to prove lifestyle of the marriage.  Only after the client has set up in this manner would I advise a client to discuss divorce with a spouse.   If the situation is amicable, that is, BOTH parties know the marriage has failed and just want to get on with life, then the discussion should be about a COLLABORATIVE DIVORCE.  If, on the other hand, one party is hurt and angry, a spouse should protect himself or herself from a situation conducive to domestic violence.  See a lawyer and get the divorce papers filed as soon as possible.

2.  If the parties are already living separate and apart:

The husband and wife know that divorce is coming and that it is just a matter of time.  In situations such as these, I advise clients to have us file the divorce papers and simply serve the other spouse without any tip offs.  If a client has a conscience, and wishes to tell the other spouse “you will be served”, oftentimes the receiving spouse avoids service of process of the divorce papers just for spite.  Without service of process, or an opposing lawyer accepting service, there can be no divorce. 

A very important point to remember is that the filing date of the divorce papers is often used as a cut off date for marital assets and debts.  Once the papers are filed in the courthouse, each party is responsible for himself or herself.  Until then, you are married, and may share the marital debt.

For more information, see our Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com or call Robin Roshkind, P.A. at 561-835-9091 for a consultation with one of our attorneys.  The Firm services husbands and wives of Palm Beach County, Florida.