Signing Divorce Papers…What It Means.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Signing divorce papers can be wrought with fright and rightfully so.  You may be asked to sign papers in a mediation setting.  Or at your lawyers office.  Or in the courtroom.  Or in the courthouse hallway.

You may be asked to sign a sworn statement, such as your financial affidavit, which needs a notary.  Or you may be asked to sign a quit claim deed which requires two witnesses and a notary.

It is necessary for both you and your spouse to sign a marital settlement agreement.  So what does all this signing of documents mean?  First, you are signing that you read and understood every word.  If English is your second language, you need to take special care to understand what it is that you are signing.  In extreme cases, an interpreter is used or the document is translated into your first language.  Without reading AND understanding, the document may fail.

Secondly, you have to have a clear head when you sign.  You cannot be under duress…i.e. sign this or you lose your children…type of duress.  You can not be under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Signing also indicates full disclosure and your knowledge of all the facts.  Lastly, signing documents means that you intend to be bound and agree with the terms and will follow the terms of the documents.  If not the other party has the right to enforce the terms against you in the future.

It is very serious business, the signing of divorce court documents.  So consult a lawyer before you sign.  For more information call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Divorce, Marriage, and Unrealistic Expectations.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

In any situation, you can set yourself up for failure if you have unrealistic expectations.  This is especially true in marriage and divorce.  For example, at your wedding you may see all the world through rose colored glasses.  Years later, you can hardly remember your wedding date or anniversary.

It is common knowledge that relationships, marriage, partnerships, take work, nurturing, respect.  Over the years, this fades and communication problems grow before you can even recognize it is happening.

In divorces, the process can be disappointing too.  Unrealistic expectations regarding alimony amounts, cooperation between divorcing parents, or the effectiveness of your attorney can cause problems you never would have anitcipated.   In talking to your divorce lawyer, it is important to discuss realistic outcomes regarding living arrangements, shared parental responsibility, division of marital assets and debts, interaction between the former partners and the children. 

There is much to do and if clients have unrealistic expectations, it just makes the divorce process that much more difficult.  For more information about this or other divorce topics, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

DIVORCE CASE OF THE MONTH (DECEMBER): Is She Pregnant???

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

On a recent beautiful morning in the Palm Beach County Courthouse, I stood with my client, the Husband, who had petitioned the court for a dissolution of marriage.  He and his wife had no children, and they had agreed to all the terms of dividing the marital assets and debts.  Also, the Wife was to pay the Husband alimony for a short time frame.  Financial affidavits of the parties were already in the court file.  I presented the signed marital settlement agreement along with a final judgment of divorce to the judge.

The judge then asked my client where his wife was.  The answer, New York.   The judge then asked how she could determine if the wife was or was not pregnant.  His testimony would not be sufficient.  So we had to get the wife on the phone right there in the courtroom.  The judge swore her in as she did my client and then asked the wife if she were pregnant.  The wife testified “no” and so the divorce was granted after some additional testimony by both parties regarding the agreement and the divorce.

Why all the fuss about the wife’s condition?  Because it is the job of the court to protect children with child support.  The court needs to know if a little one is on the way.  Had we not been able to reach the wife by telephone, having the wife “appear” at the final hearing, I am certain the divorce would not have been granted until a later date and with the wife’s testimony in person.

However, in further discussion with this judge, a pleading, a statement in the marital settlement agreement or an affidavit from the wife may have been sufficient to ascertain the pregnancy status of the wife to satisfy the court.

For more information about divorce, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

A Post Nuptial Agreement Can Potentially Fix and Unhappy Marriage.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

I have a client who came in to see about getting a divorce.  She wanted to know what her rights and options were.  I sensed she wasn’t quite ready to walk out on a long term marriage, so I asked why she wanted a divorce.  She said that her husband did not allow her any control over her own finances. 

I sent her home to talk to her husband about splitting up the assets and debts, as if they were going to go through a divorce.  The husband was shocked.  He had no idea his wife was so unhappy in the marriage, nor did he realize why.

Once they had a heart to heart conversation, it was agreed that the husband would give the wife her share of the marital assets.  But they did not know how to do this legally.  So she called me back with the good news and for advice as to how to go about doing this, giving her some control and financial freedom.  I suggested a post nuptial agreement.

In a post nuptial agreement, the spouses stay in the marriage but divide the assets into individual accounts.  The important and legal part of this though is that EACH RELINQUISHES MARITAL ENTITLEMENT TO THE OTHER’S ASSETS.  Simply by changing names on accounts does not accomplish this under the law, as even if assets are in one name or the other, they are still MARITAL.  The important part of it in a post nuptial agreement is that the assets become INDIVIDUAL, as the other party waives any future right to that asset EVEN IF THE PARTIES STAY MARRIED.

I am happy to say, with the post nuptial agreement, this AVERTED DIVORCE.  The wife now had control over her own finances.  For more information about this or any other marital topic, call one of the lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

The Holidays and a BAD marriage.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

The holidays can be hell for those of you who are in miserable marriages.  You are stuck doing “the family thing” with no diversion, no escape…  You are constantly reminded of why you work too much, garden too much, shop too much, go over to your neighbors house too much, to try to get away.  Your marriage is broken for whatever reason, and there are too many marital problems.  You are stressed to the max and want to scream.

Your coping mechanisms are challenged at this time of year.  You are trying to hold it together for the kids.   Also, you don’t want to let on to your extended family members and friends that anything is wrong.  You don’t know how to fix it either.  You are living in your own cell.

What to do?  Try to make the best of a bad situation.  Then after the holidays, SEE A LAWYER.  For more information about your rights, and your options, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

How To Catch a Cheating Husband or Wife.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

You may have your suspicions, but how do you actually catch a cheater?

Let me count the ways…

1.  WATCH THE MONEY.   Having a girlfriend  is like a luxury item…it costs money.   Look on your bank statements for cash withdrawals, ATM use, credit card statements, investment account withdrawals and the like.  You may find unusual activity.  Photocopy everything!

2.  CHECK THE CELL PHONE.   Repeat numbers dialed, or repeat calls received is good evidence.  Also, when your spouse is in the shower or watching his/her favorite football team/tv  show, check the text messages.  You would be surprised at what you will find.

3.  PAY ATTENTION TO HOW LONG HE/SHE SITS AT THE COMPUTER. He/she may be on a dating web site such as match.com or communicating with a lover.   There are forensic computer technicians who can come in when your spouse is not home and can copy the hard drive.

4.  NOTATE HIS/HER COMINGS AND GOINGS.  Is your spouse out of the house most of the time?  Does he/she come in at all hours of the night?

5.  HIRE A PRIVATE EYE.  This is how you get a lot of information.  And photos.

For more information about divorce tips and the law, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

Interstate Issues in Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

In South Florida, many couples own homes both here and also up north, whether it is New York, Chicago, Boston, D.C. etc.  So when a party decides to divorce in their home state of Florida (they establish residency here for tax reasons), there are property issues out of state.

This causes a little wrinkle in divorce proceedings, because the Florida court has no jurisdiction over property in another state.  So say for example, the parties agree that one of them takes the Florida home and the other of them takes the home up north, how does the court here go about enforcement of that court order?

It can’t.  The Florida court order would have to be “domesticated” in New York or Boston or wherever the property is, and a court in that jurisdiction would have powers over the property there.

Other interstate issues concern children.  Where two parents live in two different states, it is the home state of the children that controls.  That is because the state in which the children live has jurisdiction over them.

So if a divorce was done in Florida, and mother and child move to New York, it is the New York court that has jurisdiction over the children.  If the child support payor father lives in Florida, the mother can enforce child support against the father in Florida because he is here.  If she wants to enforce the child support in New York where the children live, she has to “domesticate” the Florida court order and make it a New York court order.

For more information about other interstate issues in divorce, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or  click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

The Emotions Of Divorce, Part II.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

If you are the spouse who is initiating the divorce, the emotions you experience can be quite different than those feelings if you are the spouse who does not want to divorce.

A spouse who finally gets up the nerve to announce he/she wants a divorce, feels a huge sense of RELIEF.  They have been miserable for a long time and are finally doing something about it.  Along with this sense of relief may come feelings of  GUILT.  A person who f eels guilt is really sorry about doing this but has to divorce to survive.   Guilt may cause ANXIETY, because he/she is not sure he/she is strong enough to see the divorce through without changing his/her mind.

The divorcing spouse may also feel BLAME because he/she took the step to break up the marriage or family.      Then DEFENSIVE is the next emotion, because there has to be some rationalization to this  action.

Ultimately, the divorcing spouse will either feel it was the right choice or the wrong choice.  If it was the right choice, then SATISFACTION and peace will set in.  If it was the wrong choice, then MISTAKE, guilt or being hard on oneself for being stupid will result.

For more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

The Emotions Of Divorce.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

Divorce is an emotional state, whether you are the one who wants to divorce or you are the one who is not wanting to divorce.

The emotions associated with divorce are sometimes more severe if you are the one who does not want to divorce.  When a spouse puts out this information to the other spouse, the first emotion may be SHOCK.  How many times have your heard divorcing friends say they never realized anything was wrong with the marriage.

After shock, comes DISBELIEF.  How could someone close to you do this to you. Then comes DENIAL.  It can’t be happening.  Maybe marriage counseling will work.   When it suddenly sinks in that this is imminent, then comes ANGER.  Why did we not work on the marriage.  How did it get to this point.  It’s his/her fault!

Anger tends to last for awhile.  But when anger fades, RESIGNATION or loss of hope settles in.  Now you realize what you have to face.

Resignation or loss of hope may turn into VINDICTIVENESS.  Or a “get even” approach to divorce.  This may become an ugly divorce.  Or an expensive one because of the litigation involved.

As time wears on, and the process is completed, each spouse will get on with their lives.  In extreme cases, where post traumatic stress syndrome sets in, spouses can walk around for years feeling these bad emotions. This happens most often where there are young children at the time of divorce, and the parties have to stay in contact for a number of years following the divorce.

For more information, call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.

What Happens If You Disobey Court Orders.

By Robin Roshkind, Esquire, West Palm Beach, Florida

When a final judgment of divorce is signed by the judge and entered by the court on the record,  it is an enforceable court order.  If you and your spouse signed a marital settlement agreement, it is attached and becomes part of the final judgment.

Final judgments of divorce do the following:

Transfer property, divide bank accounts, order one or the other spouse to pay certain bills, award household furnishings, artwork and the like;  orders provide child support, alimony, tax benefits, attorneys fees.

So what happens if one or the other spouse does not do what he/she is supposed to do under the directive of the court order?  The innocent spouse has to take an affirmative step in the court system to file a motion to enforce the court order, or a motion for contempt of court.

These motions result in a court hearing where the wrongdoing spouse can testify and put forth his/her affirmative defenses, if any.  The matter can be resolved by the judge offering up a time plan in which to perform, or an abatement of the obligation for a time certain, or the court may find the wrongdoer in willful contempt.  A time to correct the omission is given, and if not satisfied, then a commitment hearing will be set to show cause as to why this person should not be incarcerated.   Willful contempt exists when a person has the ability to perform under the court order, but just doesn’t want to.  This behavior is contemptuous and courts do not take it lightly.

For more information on this or other divorce topics call one of the divorce lawyers at ROBIN ROSHKIND, P.A. at 561-835-9091 or click on the Firm’s web site at www.familylawwpb.com.